Snow Time Like Now For A Little Free Write....

No matter how old I am, I will always find magic in a beautiful snow fall.

& as the snow falls tonight, I peer out the window to see a world brightened by this precipitation.

While it brings so much negativity of slick roads, the inability to drive safely, and school closures- the snow often does not get its recognition for how truly beautiful it is. 

It brings me peace and serenity for just a few  moments.

I adore it for that. 

I am sure I will soon be cursing it while my clumsy self will sure enough fall while trying to get around on the slick pavements.

Because that is life.

But for now.

For tonight.

I want to dance beneath the falling white.

Feel the frozen flakes against my skin.

And embrace the true magic. 

Because magic this lovely is hard to come by. 

 

Love at First Swipe

I often wonder what it is like to live in the non-millennial generation. A world without all the technology. A world where you are not constantly connected. A world unplugged, un-bothered, and full of face-to-face communication versus text to text, chat to chat, screen to screen, snap to snap-you catch my drift.

I want to unplug from this generation & 
Plug into an old one.

I find myself battling between hating technology and admiring it for its everything. From adoring our celebrities and getting a simple retweet or favorite, the internet gives you connections that would be impossible for you to ever achieve. You can fall in love with strangers who share similar interests and form friendships across states and oceans. These relationships seem so real because they are real in their own reality- but the reality is they are just a reality through the screen.

You have no idea what this person is actually like. Are they real? Are you going to end up on Catfish? Do they actually relate to you at all? You more than likely will never know. One of the many downfalls of the limitless connections you may make. It may seem like you are perfect for each other; you are only perfect for each other in that realm. That reality. That reality will a majority of the time never break free because it is your escape. The internet is our escape from the real world around us. When real life communication ceases to amuse us, we run to the webs of communication that internet offers us. We find comfort in it and that comfort only works because it is not reality. I am not being pessimistic. I am a firm believer that dreams can become a reality if you put hard work into it. I am just being a realist in the chances of things you love online being something you love in the real world.

It just does not seem likely.

That all aside, we cannot deny how spectacular it is that we can make connections like these. Sure, I still wish snail mail was a thing and the art of letter writing would make a comeback- but the internet is abundant. While it is amazing for connecting the world together and finding people you relate to everywhere and creating this alter-reality, it seems to make it more difficult to find a connection simply with someone nearby

When is the last time you got a number some place other than the internet? Besides old friends, I honestly could not tell you that last time I did. The alter-reality of the internet is crashing into real life making real dating a thing of the past.

 

Love at first sight has turned into love at first swipe, friend request, tweet, poke, or match. 

The fairytale romances are far and few because we have let our lives run on technology. We strive to find the love of our lives, while hiding behind our internet alter ego. We can fall in love conveniently while we brush our teeth, binge watch television, or while we are out with friends. The internet has found a way to make "falling in love" or "hooking up" like a fast food drive thru. Here is a fine new specimen- new to the market. Order up before they are all gone. Presenting perfection in a profile. No one is perfect, but on the internet we try to present ourselves as a perfection to someone who we think should be our soulmate. We pick the best pictures, omitting the ones where you look your actual size or do not have perfect makeup or hair. We leave out the quirks that make us our reality. The truth is as much as we hope to have that true, love at first sight moment, we will settle for the swipes and friend requests because we just want to be loved.

& I think it is time we stopped that.

Why should we settle to fall in love with someone who swiped us because they found us attractive? Why should we think that just because they accepted a friend request that we are meant to be?

In my opinion, that is a sick reality. I do not mean to sound like a hypocrite. I am just stating something that has been bothering me for awhile.I have had a Tinder. And while it was an interesting few months, it did not bring me any satisfaction. All it brought me is new people, to another platform, that has yet to really go anywhere.

The fact of the matter is we bring a relationship from one platform to another, but to get it to launch to real life is still the trick. Because all these platforms interweave a common concept that  a majority are simply just there to "hook-up". These platforms are making being a lady or gentlemen a thing of the past. It seems both types are far and few and in-between that you give up before you find the person you were aiming to meet. And if you give someone a chance, and give them your number, you risk knowing where this next platform is going to take you. Are you going to be a booty call? Are you ever going to meet in reality? Are you going to text endlessly, then just disappear? Is anything even going to come out of this?

And from my experience and many friends experiences, nothing ever will. 

If you want to break the barrier of a textual relationship, you have to keep in mind that most people will have no memory of what has been said. Words exchanged frequently in small doses do not typically register with people. That is one of the biggest flaws of these relationships. Really, how well do you know that person if you do not even know their middle or even last name?  Falling in love should not include all the drama that technology brings. We should not have to question ones affection by the amount of time they take to respond or if they opened your snap and did not reply. It is absolutely ridiculous. 

While I secretly hope that maybe one day my internet celebrity love or texting encounters turn into more, I am level headed enough to know that more than likely they will not. And so that is why I am single. I am waiting for the day I meet someone who I can simply go on a date with and get to know. And hopefully, eventually I will find a guy genuinely wants to get to know me, my past, present, flaws, and quirks. All of it. Because that is where relationships form. They form in between the getting to know one another and the realizing that who they are intertwines perfectly with who you are. There should never be any pretending, acting, or changing. If you present yourself for what you truly are, you will find the person meant for you.

At least that is what I would like to think.

I know I write a lot on the topic of being single and alone in this generation. It is because it is my reality and it seems to be something burdening so many people around me. I have guys flock to me because they think I am sad to be alone. Sure, being single can be lonely- but that is what friends, family, books, and movies are for. Surrounding myself with things I love is making me a better person. For a long time, I became this superficial person- I hate to admit it, but I was not a good person. I judged people solely on their appearance or the appearance of their social media. I wanted people to love me. The problem with that is I obviously did not love myself. Loving yourself should come first. I choose to be single because [one] relationships are really hard and take a lot of work, [two]  I am pretty weird and have not found somebody who embraces that, [three] I am working on living a healthier life and I fear throwing somebody else into the fix might ruin my progress, [four] too many people run away the second they hear "gluten-free" (you think I am joking, but sadly, this point is incredibly true, and [five] not a lot of people have tried to get to know who I am. They try to force themselves into my life, make fun of my interests, or solely comment on my looks. None of those things are impressive to me. 

I'm Simply Unimpressed Shelby Sue

P.s. I felt the need to clarify that because it seems to be confusing a lot of people lately and I really hate confusion.

Look at me! Look at me!

Recently I encountered a situation and it has spurred a mix of emotions, thoughts, and rants within me.

& so, being as I am trying to actually be a writer and write things because that's what writers do- I figured I might as well share this most recent revelation. I also figured to best explain my thoughts, I thought I might use the assistance of the Kardashian clan to help me out in gif form.

Topic: Social Media

Subject: Information Sharing

I am not really sure where to begin. I apologize now if this post seems discombobulated because it more than likely will be. I keep witnessing the same scenario over and over again and I am just so sick of it.

I call it the "Look at Me" syndrome. 

 

You know them. The people who are constantly posting on social media to essentially get people to "Look at them." "look at me, I am being social." "Look at me, I am cool and drinking a fancy drink." "Look at me, I am so in love." "Look at me, I actually had something cool happen to me."

And these "look at me" people seem to fall into at least two categories: the "look at me, I rarely post unless I had something big happen or somebody else has something big happen and I want to piggyback their successes" or "look at me, I post all the time and think that every time I do anything I need to post a picture."

& I am not being a hypocrite because I once was the latter. Ever since my parents bought me my first digital camera for Christmas [and almost every year since being as I'm a klutz with technology-but as usual, I digress], I was obsessed with documenting my life, but I mean I have loved photos from a young age- this is nothing new. I loved looking at old photos with my mom and learning the stories behind them. So I decided to document my life and the people who made it so wonderful. I took pictures of everything. Food I was eating. What we were doing in class. What we did in cheerleading. Every little thing I could...and I did it for years. In fact, I think I did it from about 6th or 7th grade until my present day and age. I love photographs. They can bring so much emotion and tell so many stories. 

There is nothing wrong with any of that.

My problem came when I discovered Facebook. The bottomless pit entered my life as I entered the 9th grade. I thought all my photos needed to be shared. At the time, Facebook's privacy was awesome and it really was just for friends. No hidden agendas- just simply uploading photos to upload photos. Then Facebook introduced the options to like or share and then now all your friends friends can see their activity, even if they have no idea who you are. 

 

That's really not okay.

The only reason I have kept Facebook is for my family and close friends.

It is not for anyone else and that is why I have been slowly "de-friending" people. If I wouldn't say hi to you at the store, why would I want you knowing my day to day happenings? 

& That's where the competition and hidden agendas come into play. Facebook has become a world of "look at me" people because people crave the likes, the shares, the attention.

I hate attention.

I remember when I started blogging, a few unhappy people would say "you know she's just doing that for attention." Nope. That is not it. I blog because I am a writer. I blog because I need to get these crazy thoughts out of my head. I blog because while it somewhat stirs my sanity, it also tames it.

I do not want all eyes on me. I just want to share my information with people I care about with out people reading all into it.

But that is what we do. People. We read into everything.

& for good reason.

Because everything these days has a hidden agenda.

When I first entered the smart-phone world, I craved the attention. I will admit it. I wanted people to know I was now  "so, hip, so cool". And now I could give a rat's ass [pardon my unladylike wording, but it fit so well here]. & I cannot clean up what I have done. Years and years and years of over-sharing is impossible to erase- not to mention what people must think. I know I should not care about what others think, but I am only human and do. I certainly do not want people to think I upload things to be "loved and adored". I upload pictures as a form of expression or simply to share them with my family. That is really it.

& this brings me to the "Look at me's"

These people suck. I used to be one of them, so I am allowed to say it.

These people have no boundaries and have really lost emotion for people themselves. They do not even think about what they are posting and how it might affect those who love and care about them. Even if you do not want to be, most kids are friends with their parents on Facebook. Do you think your mom likes looking at you drinking every night? What about pictures of you half clothed? Do you think your mom would be proud of those accomplishments?

I think your mom would rather you post intellectual articles or thoughts on life. Not thoughts on what drink you are going to order tonight.

The thing of it is that most people don't think you are cool for what you are doing. You are simply hurting those around you or developing a not so keen reputation. Because even if you are not meaning to come off this way, you do.

& then, these people tend to want to share everything. Especially news that will get all eyes on them. If a situation is getting someone a lot of attention and they can somehow weasel their way into it, they will. They will steal your pictures and post them as their own before you can. Have you ever known someone who has done that? I have. And it sickens me. What gives people the right to think they can announce someone's big news before they can? Let alone, upload someones photos as their own.

This situation makes me want to scream because although you are getting all this gratitude, you just really hurt someone to get those 5 minutes of fame. Those comments are not for you; those comments are for them. Funny that they cannot see them though because it is not their post. Posting a picture of an event you were not even at? Ha, you are a jack-off. Posting someones personal pictures without their permission? Are you even a human being? & I do not mean catfishing. I mean people who do it because they think it is cute and they want people to "look at them".

What you just did seems miniscule. It is just Facebook right? No. Not right. In this day in age nothing is just "Facebook". Facebook sadly means a great deal and you ruined that great deal for somebody. Hope your five minutes of fame were worth it because those people cannot undo what you just did.

Think about it. If you are thinking, "oh, have I done that?", you probably have. You probably should apologize. & you probably should go delete that post- even if it was months or years ago. 

 

As far as sharing on social media goes, be careful with it. I know I am guilty of tweeting something when I am upset and then regretting it. Sure, I go back and delete it, but that tweet still had its time on the internet. It still was out there. It still meant something and it should not have ever been out.

If you go out every night, more power to you. But do you need to have a photo-shoot every time? How many crop tops, mixed drinks, and drunk faces do you really have?

If you love your baby or dog, post all you want. Sure, while not everybody likes it, you are just proud of some living thing. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

If you are attending a concert, attend a concert. Take a few shots, then put down the phone [cue Watsky's "Tiny Glowing Screens"] [but don not cue it if you don't like the occasional curse word. rap music has that]. Enjoy the moment. 

 

If you want to act like somebody's accomplishments are your own, get a life.

My main point is to go out with your friends and do not worry about taking a picture to document it. Enjoy that 5th amaretto sour, but do not tell the world. Ever since I stopped trying to make every night a "photo shoot", my life got so much better. Sure, I will Snapchat- that is what Snapchat is for. I just do not worry about if "we didn't take pictures last night and we looked so good." Yeah, we did look good and we will remember that night because we were not worried about making everybody else notice it. We actually enjoyed it. 

I owe one of my best friends for this. Before her, I was super obnoxious- and I mean like super photo obnoxious. I know it. My friends know it. People who barely know me know it. My best friend does not really like having her picture taken though, which made that part of our relationship difficult. But from that, I stopped worrying about taking pictures because I knew she did not want to. And from there, I have become the person I am today. A person who can go out and enjoy a night at the bar. A person who can do something crazy and not have to tell the whole world. A person who can live in the moment and not worry about how social media would play in. A person who is actually tolerable to be around. 

 

So as I continue this "look at me" detox, I encourage you all to as well. While I might become less photogenic, I think the rewards outweigh the few losses. Put down the phone, put away "the Facebook" and let's have coffee without the pressure of making it worthy to share. & in your spare time, I recommend looking into making your information more private because believe me the internet is kind of like the box of notes you kept from middle school; it is never ending and full of a past-you that is not someone you want to be known as. 

 

I would apologize if this offended anybody, but it really should not offend anybody. While I did have some people in mind in particular, the list is way too long to single out a few. And it is nothing that you should take personal offense to. It is not about you. It is about what you are doing and how it is affecting those around you and how you are making them look at you.

But hey, look at me, <------ see what I did there?

I'm Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. I cannot reiterate enough. Do not post somebody's big news before they do. You are an awful human being.