Look at me! Look at me!

Recently I encountered a situation and it has spurred a mix of emotions, thoughts, and rants within me.

& so, being as I am trying to actually be a writer and write things because that's what writers do- I figured I might as well share this most recent revelation. I also figured to best explain my thoughts, I thought I might use the assistance of the Kardashian clan to help me out in gif form.

Topic: Social Media

Subject: Information Sharing

I am not really sure where to begin. I apologize now if this post seems discombobulated because it more than likely will be. I keep witnessing the same scenario over and over again and I am just so sick of it.

I call it the "Look at Me" syndrome. 

 

You know them. The people who are constantly posting on social media to essentially get people to "Look at them." "look at me, I am being social." "Look at me, I am cool and drinking a fancy drink." "Look at me, I am so in love." "Look at me, I actually had something cool happen to me."

And these "look at me" people seem to fall into at least two categories: the "look at me, I rarely post unless I had something big happen or somebody else has something big happen and I want to piggyback their successes" or "look at me, I post all the time and think that every time I do anything I need to post a picture."

& I am not being a hypocrite because I once was the latter. Ever since my parents bought me my first digital camera for Christmas [and almost every year since being as I'm a klutz with technology-but as usual, I digress], I was obsessed with documenting my life, but I mean I have loved photos from a young age- this is nothing new. I loved looking at old photos with my mom and learning the stories behind them. So I decided to document my life and the people who made it so wonderful. I took pictures of everything. Food I was eating. What we were doing in class. What we did in cheerleading. Every little thing I could...and I did it for years. In fact, I think I did it from about 6th or 7th grade until my present day and age. I love photographs. They can bring so much emotion and tell so many stories. 

There is nothing wrong with any of that.

My problem came when I discovered Facebook. The bottomless pit entered my life as I entered the 9th grade. I thought all my photos needed to be shared. At the time, Facebook's privacy was awesome and it really was just for friends. No hidden agendas- just simply uploading photos to upload photos. Then Facebook introduced the options to like or share and then now all your friends friends can see their activity, even if they have no idea who you are. 

 

That's really not okay.

The only reason I have kept Facebook is for my family and close friends.

It is not for anyone else and that is why I have been slowly "de-friending" people. If I wouldn't say hi to you at the store, why would I want you knowing my day to day happenings? 

& That's where the competition and hidden agendas come into play. Facebook has become a world of "look at me" people because people crave the likes, the shares, the attention.

I hate attention.

I remember when I started blogging, a few unhappy people would say "you know she's just doing that for attention." Nope. That is not it. I blog because I am a writer. I blog because I need to get these crazy thoughts out of my head. I blog because while it somewhat stirs my sanity, it also tames it.

I do not want all eyes on me. I just want to share my information with people I care about with out people reading all into it.

But that is what we do. People. We read into everything.

& for good reason.

Because everything these days has a hidden agenda.

When I first entered the smart-phone world, I craved the attention. I will admit it. I wanted people to know I was now  "so, hip, so cool". And now I could give a rat's ass [pardon my unladylike wording, but it fit so well here]. & I cannot clean up what I have done. Years and years and years of over-sharing is impossible to erase- not to mention what people must think. I know I should not care about what others think, but I am only human and do. I certainly do not want people to think I upload things to be "loved and adored". I upload pictures as a form of expression or simply to share them with my family. That is really it.

& this brings me to the "Look at me's"

These people suck. I used to be one of them, so I am allowed to say it.

These people have no boundaries and have really lost emotion for people themselves. They do not even think about what they are posting and how it might affect those who love and care about them. Even if you do not want to be, most kids are friends with their parents on Facebook. Do you think your mom likes looking at you drinking every night? What about pictures of you half clothed? Do you think your mom would be proud of those accomplishments?

I think your mom would rather you post intellectual articles or thoughts on life. Not thoughts on what drink you are going to order tonight.

The thing of it is that most people don't think you are cool for what you are doing. You are simply hurting those around you or developing a not so keen reputation. Because even if you are not meaning to come off this way, you do.

& then, these people tend to want to share everything. Especially news that will get all eyes on them. If a situation is getting someone a lot of attention and they can somehow weasel their way into it, they will. They will steal your pictures and post them as their own before you can. Have you ever known someone who has done that? I have. And it sickens me. What gives people the right to think they can announce someone's big news before they can? Let alone, upload someones photos as their own.

This situation makes me want to scream because although you are getting all this gratitude, you just really hurt someone to get those 5 minutes of fame. Those comments are not for you; those comments are for them. Funny that they cannot see them though because it is not their post. Posting a picture of an event you were not even at? Ha, you are a jack-off. Posting someones personal pictures without their permission? Are you even a human being? & I do not mean catfishing. I mean people who do it because they think it is cute and they want people to "look at them".

What you just did seems miniscule. It is just Facebook right? No. Not right. In this day in age nothing is just "Facebook". Facebook sadly means a great deal and you ruined that great deal for somebody. Hope your five minutes of fame were worth it because those people cannot undo what you just did.

Think about it. If you are thinking, "oh, have I done that?", you probably have. You probably should apologize. & you probably should go delete that post- even if it was months or years ago. 

 

As far as sharing on social media goes, be careful with it. I know I am guilty of tweeting something when I am upset and then regretting it. Sure, I go back and delete it, but that tweet still had its time on the internet. It still was out there. It still meant something and it should not have ever been out.

If you go out every night, more power to you. But do you need to have a photo-shoot every time? How many crop tops, mixed drinks, and drunk faces do you really have?

If you love your baby or dog, post all you want. Sure, while not everybody likes it, you are just proud of some living thing. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

If you are attending a concert, attend a concert. Take a few shots, then put down the phone [cue Watsky's "Tiny Glowing Screens"] [but don not cue it if you don't like the occasional curse word. rap music has that]. Enjoy the moment. 

 

If you want to act like somebody's accomplishments are your own, get a life.

My main point is to go out with your friends and do not worry about taking a picture to document it. Enjoy that 5th amaretto sour, but do not tell the world. Ever since I stopped trying to make every night a "photo shoot", my life got so much better. Sure, I will Snapchat- that is what Snapchat is for. I just do not worry about if "we didn't take pictures last night and we looked so good." Yeah, we did look good and we will remember that night because we were not worried about making everybody else notice it. We actually enjoyed it. 

I owe one of my best friends for this. Before her, I was super obnoxious- and I mean like super photo obnoxious. I know it. My friends know it. People who barely know me know it. My best friend does not really like having her picture taken though, which made that part of our relationship difficult. But from that, I stopped worrying about taking pictures because I knew she did not want to. And from there, I have become the person I am today. A person who can go out and enjoy a night at the bar. A person who can do something crazy and not have to tell the whole world. A person who can live in the moment and not worry about how social media would play in. A person who is actually tolerable to be around. 

 

So as I continue this "look at me" detox, I encourage you all to as well. While I might become less photogenic, I think the rewards outweigh the few losses. Put down the phone, put away "the Facebook" and let's have coffee without the pressure of making it worthy to share. & in your spare time, I recommend looking into making your information more private because believe me the internet is kind of like the box of notes you kept from middle school; it is never ending and full of a past-you that is not someone you want to be known as. 

 

I would apologize if this offended anybody, but it really should not offend anybody. While I did have some people in mind in particular, the list is way too long to single out a few. And it is nothing that you should take personal offense to. It is not about you. It is about what you are doing and how it is affecting those around you and how you are making them look at you.

But hey, look at me, <------ see what I did there?

I'm Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. I cannot reiterate enough. Do not post somebody's big news before they do. You are an awful human being.