Love at First Swipe

I often wonder what it is like to live in the non-millennial generation. A world without all the technology. A world where you are not constantly connected. A world unplugged, un-bothered, and full of face-to-face communication versus text to text, chat to chat, screen to screen, snap to snap-you catch my drift.

I want to unplug from this generation & 
Plug into an old one.

I find myself battling between hating technology and admiring it for its everything. From adoring our celebrities and getting a simple retweet or favorite, the internet gives you connections that would be impossible for you to ever achieve. You can fall in love with strangers who share similar interests and form friendships across states and oceans. These relationships seem so real because they are real in their own reality- but the reality is they are just a reality through the screen.

You have no idea what this person is actually like. Are they real? Are you going to end up on Catfish? Do they actually relate to you at all? You more than likely will never know. One of the many downfalls of the limitless connections you may make. It may seem like you are perfect for each other; you are only perfect for each other in that realm. That reality. That reality will a majority of the time never break free because it is your escape. The internet is our escape from the real world around us. When real life communication ceases to amuse us, we run to the webs of communication that internet offers us. We find comfort in it and that comfort only works because it is not reality. I am not being pessimistic. I am a firm believer that dreams can become a reality if you put hard work into it. I am just being a realist in the chances of things you love online being something you love in the real world.

It just does not seem likely.

That all aside, we cannot deny how spectacular it is that we can make connections like these. Sure, I still wish snail mail was a thing and the art of letter writing would make a comeback- but the internet is abundant. While it is amazing for connecting the world together and finding people you relate to everywhere and creating this alter-reality, it seems to make it more difficult to find a connection simply with someone nearby

When is the last time you got a number some place other than the internet? Besides old friends, I honestly could not tell you that last time I did. The alter-reality of the internet is crashing into real life making real dating a thing of the past.

 

Love at first sight has turned into love at first swipe, friend request, tweet, poke, or match. 

The fairytale romances are far and few because we have let our lives run on technology. We strive to find the love of our lives, while hiding behind our internet alter ego. We can fall in love conveniently while we brush our teeth, binge watch television, or while we are out with friends. The internet has found a way to make "falling in love" or "hooking up" like a fast food drive thru. Here is a fine new specimen- new to the market. Order up before they are all gone. Presenting perfection in a profile. No one is perfect, but on the internet we try to present ourselves as a perfection to someone who we think should be our soulmate. We pick the best pictures, omitting the ones where you look your actual size or do not have perfect makeup or hair. We leave out the quirks that make us our reality. The truth is as much as we hope to have that true, love at first sight moment, we will settle for the swipes and friend requests because we just want to be loved.

& I think it is time we stopped that.

Why should we settle to fall in love with someone who swiped us because they found us attractive? Why should we think that just because they accepted a friend request that we are meant to be?

In my opinion, that is a sick reality. I do not mean to sound like a hypocrite. I am just stating something that has been bothering me for awhile.I have had a Tinder. And while it was an interesting few months, it did not bring me any satisfaction. All it brought me is new people, to another platform, that has yet to really go anywhere.

The fact of the matter is we bring a relationship from one platform to another, but to get it to launch to real life is still the trick. Because all these platforms interweave a common concept that  a majority are simply just there to "hook-up". These platforms are making being a lady or gentlemen a thing of the past. It seems both types are far and few and in-between that you give up before you find the person you were aiming to meet. And if you give someone a chance, and give them your number, you risk knowing where this next platform is going to take you. Are you going to be a booty call? Are you ever going to meet in reality? Are you going to text endlessly, then just disappear? Is anything even going to come out of this?

And from my experience and many friends experiences, nothing ever will. 

If you want to break the barrier of a textual relationship, you have to keep in mind that most people will have no memory of what has been said. Words exchanged frequently in small doses do not typically register with people. That is one of the biggest flaws of these relationships. Really, how well do you know that person if you do not even know their middle or even last name?  Falling in love should not include all the drama that technology brings. We should not have to question ones affection by the amount of time they take to respond or if they opened your snap and did not reply. It is absolutely ridiculous. 

While I secretly hope that maybe one day my internet celebrity love or texting encounters turn into more, I am level headed enough to know that more than likely they will not. And so that is why I am single. I am waiting for the day I meet someone who I can simply go on a date with and get to know. And hopefully, eventually I will find a guy genuinely wants to get to know me, my past, present, flaws, and quirks. All of it. Because that is where relationships form. They form in between the getting to know one another and the realizing that who they are intertwines perfectly with who you are. There should never be any pretending, acting, or changing. If you present yourself for what you truly are, you will find the person meant for you.

At least that is what I would like to think.

I know I write a lot on the topic of being single and alone in this generation. It is because it is my reality and it seems to be something burdening so many people around me. I have guys flock to me because they think I am sad to be alone. Sure, being single can be lonely- but that is what friends, family, books, and movies are for. Surrounding myself with things I love is making me a better person. For a long time, I became this superficial person- I hate to admit it, but I was not a good person. I judged people solely on their appearance or the appearance of their social media. I wanted people to love me. The problem with that is I obviously did not love myself. Loving yourself should come first. I choose to be single because [one] relationships are really hard and take a lot of work, [two]  I am pretty weird and have not found somebody who embraces that, [three] I am working on living a healthier life and I fear throwing somebody else into the fix might ruin my progress, [four] too many people run away the second they hear "gluten-free" (you think I am joking, but sadly, this point is incredibly true, and [five] not a lot of people have tried to get to know who I am. They try to force themselves into my life, make fun of my interests, or solely comment on my looks. None of those things are impressive to me. 

I'm Simply Unimpressed Shelby Sue

P.s. I felt the need to clarify that because it seems to be confusing a lot of people lately and I really hate confusion.