My blog is turning into a sassy review blog. Sorry bout that. Blame College.

So I saw a post today & it made me giggle extremely too much. Plus it's relevant to this blog post. It was simply a cartoon image of two women discussing dieting. One woman's speech bubble says: "You are what you eat." The second woman (me in this case)'s speech bubble said the following: "Then I need to eat a skinny person." If only it were that easy....

College students are eating our feelings from the stress of finishing the semester with our GPA still somewhat in tact. Christmas time is in full swing and sugar coated treats are in abundance. & Victoria's Secret has officially created a million New Year's Resolutions with their annual Victoria Secret Fashion Show.

From spray-tanned perfection to perfectly flowing hair, the models were once again flawless. I do not know about you all, but I suddenly feel like I should not have eaten those 5 chocolate star candies. I also have a strange feeling that my Pinterest will soon have an overwhelming amount of pins dealing with these fierce feathered ladies. Nonetheless, I am very much angry at my family genetics and my fat, sausage-casing like thighs. Also, I have a strange jealousy of the models that got to wear the Pom-Pom and Pinwheel wings. Thumbs up to the creative mind behind those. They were fantastic.  But maybe one day I could achieve the wind blown, hair perfection. Only Maybe though. With all things set aside, I feel like even the normal-Midwest girl like myself could possibly achieve feeling worthy while wearing her Victoria Secrets.

These are necessities that I have learned I need in order to look 1/10th as pretty as a Victoria's Secret Model:

•  A stockpile of Fake Eye-lashes:Your eyes just look better with them. Plus they are extremely flirty and girly and to feel like a VS Model, you must be flirty and girly. & if you can achieve it, upgrade that girly to womanly. Actually scratch everything I have said. Aim for womanly sex appeal and do this by never leaving the house without your fake-eye lashes applied properly.

• Music must be  playing when I walk Anywhere: This Fashion show has just solidified the fact that we all deserve a movie like montage moment. When you walk with sass, sure it's a sassy walk. But when you walk with sass and a beautiful man like Bruno Mars serenading in the background, you walk like one bad-ass lady. Since most of us are incapable of having Bruno Mars serenade us, I vote we re-invest in boom boxes. We can bring back the 80's and 90's fad. It could be cool, right? ...Yeah, probably not. 

• You can never have too much Glitter: This fact was just proven by this fashion show. If the VS models approve of glitter-izing everything, then of course so should we! New life motto: Everything is better with glitter! 

 

• Sun-Kissed Skin: Unless you are pretty and pasty, you best be prepared to sun-kiss your skin- but be careful. If you turn your skin Snooki-Orange, you are failing in this lesson of being a Victoria Secret model. The goal is to have healthy, shimmering skin- not imitate a citrus fruit.

• Matching-Underwear: Normal woman do not typically own matching underwear and bras. & if they do, they typically do not strive to match their undergarments everyday. This must change in order to channel your inner VS Model self. To feel womanly, match those bras and panties. Matching is classy.

• A Pair of Wings: To be the best inner angel we can be, of course we need wings. & no, your fairy wings from your last years Halloween costume will not do. That would disappoint Tyra and we would not want to cause a Tyra melt-down. As I said earlier, I really want a pair of Pom-Pom or Pinwheel wings. Though all the wings in the "Angels in Bloom" portion of the show were fantastic- especially the lilac ones. I feel like picking a pair of VS like wings would be like picking a wand at Ollivander's- they just kind of choose you.
  

& that's my weekly dose of random opinions.

Apologies for all my thoughts on pop-culture lately. I just really like pop-culture. That's what makes me....

Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. After watching this VS Fashion show, I have one main thought. "Life: I'm doing it wrong."

...I just have a lot of emotions.

So I have this little problem...

I kind of have this false reality that one day I am going to be famous or a least be associated with famous people. Right now on twitter, I am followed by 7 verified accounts. That's 3% of my following- so in terms I feel like I am 3% famous. It is moments when I realize that I am 3% famous, that I get a bit of a big head and decided to tweet a bunch because I feel like people care about by obsessive thoughts.
& it just so happens that this realization normally comes around the time of Award Shows.
& tonight they were all amplified by the one. the only.

American Music Awards

I feel so emotionally connected to each award, each performance, each presentation. I hold on to each word said and think about how I could have written a better introductory statement or how  a certain celebrity should have hired a better stylist. Like I said, I have a lot of emotion.

What is the best way to explain my incredible emotions?
Why of course through my live tweeting...

The following are tweets that occurred from my emotions felt during the iconic awards show:

•  KELLY CLARKSON SINGING HER OLD HIT SINGLES.. .#SOMANYEMOTIONS #AMAs #HellYes
  
  When Kelly first sang the words "Miss Independent", I melted in happy feelings. No matter how much say "I don't like Kelly Clarkson", you all secretly do. Do not lie. You know when you were in middle school you belted "Breakaway" in the shower. & if you did not, I am really not sure what I think of you or if we could ever be friends.

• Justin Bieber, pull yo pants up @MTV #AMAs #RealTalk & In other news, I'm not sure how I feel about JBiebs leather tank top; it's distracting me from the beautiful acoustics . #AMAs
  
  I had serious issues with Justin Bieber all night. First off, anybody that knows me knows that I have fan-girled over Justin Bieber before. The Jelena breakup was one of my many motivations to get back in shape. Those feelings aside,  the AMA's are an awards show; it is a time to look kind of classy. Who's ever idea it was to allow him to wear the pants that are a re-invention of the 90's slacker chic, needs to be fired. Hasn't he ever heard the song "pants on the ground, pants on the ground. looking like a fool with your pants on the ground"? ....Wear a suit or some tailored pants- at least to accept your award. Plus a leather wife beater tank top? That is not attractive. If Justin Bieber had his titles stripped away and dressed like he did tonight, he would just be the creepy punk that hits on you and your girlfriends at the mall. 

• If Stevie Wonder doesn't make you smile, then you have no soul #AMAs
  Literally, I could not have hand picked a better person to pay tribute to Dick Clark. He literally loves what he does.  I had a sing a long all by myself in my living room. "You can feel all overrrrrrrr. You can feel alll overr people."You can tell his soul was made to make people feel the true beauty of music.

 

•  I'm not sure how I feel about 5 males singing an entire chorus in that high of a pitch #AMAs #TheWanted
  
  I am surpised I have not gotten smack over this tweet from the fan girls of the twitter world. Not that I thought the performance was bad, it was just odd. First off, the boys all have a bit of resemblance to Ricky Martin. Second, they stood on raised platforms in recatanglular shapes; definitely Go Go dancer esque. Third, the chorus seriously sounds like 5 females. Not 5 males. In my opinion, that is not attractive. I like the verses of the songs because they sound like males if that makes up for my dislike of everything else.
•  Crying inside because @maroon5 & my man @adamlevine didn't win artist of the year #AMAs
  
  I sometimes question whether Justin Bieber would win as many awards without his "Beliebers".

• ....Umm be right back, obsessing over @Pink 's abdominal muscles #AMAs
  
  Words cannot even explain how beautiful this performance was; it literally will be one of my favorite performances of any award show to date. The talent displayed and emotions felt, all while giving an amazing vocal performance- I can't even fathom it all.  I encourage those who have not seen it, to immediately get on youtube and be amazed.

 

• @taylorswift13 is looking super pretty tonight & makes me want to buy a gold dress even more #AMAs, @taylorswift13 starting off with my favorite single off her new album #ThisWillBeGood #AMAs & Did I mention how classy @taylorswift13 looks? #AMAs @MTVNews
  
  Can Taylor swift do no wrong? I mean literally she is fantastic. She is classy. Her stage production was lovely- at least I thought so. I am sucker for grand staircase scenes; I feel as if they just add that extra bit of classy to make a performance superb. & I'm still trying to figure out how her costume quick change went so smoothly.

 

• I love when celebrities are genuinely excited for receiving an award. Luke Bryan you make me smile. #AMAs
  
  Did anybody else notice how precious Luke Bryan looked? By kissing his woman to "raising the roof" on stage, he literally had the emotions of a 5 year old winning a t-ball tournament. It is moments like these that make you realize that celebrities are humans, which is just lovely.

• The Will Smith flashback might be my favorite part of the night #AMAs
  &  Just kidding- NSYC's flashback tops all of the flashbacks #ChildhoodMemories #AMAs
  
  Being it was the 40th anniversary, the AMA's had flashbacks of old performances all night. From Will Smith to Nsync, this little addition just added that extra zest needed for a great night. Some other notable featured flashbacks were Beyonce, The Osbourne's, and Whitney Houston. They made all the single ladies want to dance with somebody as they mourned the break up of Justin & Britney.   

 

•  As Gangham style plays, I can only think of Zumba #AMAs & TOO LEGIT TO QUIT ...Night made #AMAs
  Combining Gangnam Style & Mc Hammer's "Too Legit to Quit" was the best decision MTV could have made to end the show. Except for the fact that it is now stuck in my head and I have to be at class at 8 am; and the fact that I am thinking of Zumba class and that is just exhausting.

& my most popular tweet of the night (MtvNews might have retweeted it, then might have followed me. It's fine. It's whatever. Big deal moment in the life of Shelby)....

• I love how weird, laid-back, and wonderful @NoDoubt is #AMAs @MTVNews
  
  No Doubt literally had a jam session on stage. They did not focus on over-done costuming or special effects, they just did what they do best. I literally loved every minute of it and felt like I was just siting on an old couch in a garage listening to a few old friends. 

 

& that is all for tonight. I hope you enjoyed my point of view on my addiction to the pop culture filled events of Award Shows.

That's just apart of what makes me...

Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. Apologies to all my twitter followers for my live tweeting. Sometimes I just cannot help but express my many emotions for pop cultural events. I have issues.

Slapping Myself Silly.

We all have a list.

You could have one, three, maybe hundreds in your archives.

Ruined songs.

I love music, if you cannot tell by the amount I blog about the wonderful cultural creation. It is an escape from reality or even better, a way to enhance reality. When I hear a song, it doesn't just go in one ear and out the other; it stays with me. I like to embrace each note, each phrase, each chorus. I cling to to the lryics and cuddle them like they are a new boyfriend. I find music more enjoyable when you are more than just acquaintances; I like to get nice and cozy with each rift.
Music is my long lost lover.

The only problem with music is its lack of monogamy.

I get so personal with music, that I get heavily offended when other people say they "love that song too". YOU DON'T LOVE THAT SONG LIKE I LOVE THAT SONG. I just do not appreciate that my long lost lover is constantly cheating on me with other women and men. Eventually I get over the anger and realize that it is kind of inevitable and kind of ridiculous. I then also realize that sometimes it's nice to relate with someone over a song; you find that common interest, which leads to other common interests, and form friendships and sometimes relationships.

Other times, this relation can ruin a song or artist forever.

If you think about it, when a bond begins with song- this song is thus associated with that person. That person could stay wonderful to infinity and beyond, but let's face it. People are people. People are always changing and molding themselves as they age. People lie. People cheat. People are emotionless. People are smelly. People are prettier than you are.  People can kind of suck. When people still live on their mothers milk (definition of sucking. the example used to explain the definition was "sucking pig"), it takes a song with some good memories, and adds other memories, that result in many bad memories. Because in the end, the bad always conquers the good so that is what we remember.

& so as an ode to the people songs I now hate,  here are my top 5 ruined songs and artists:

1. TOP OFFENDER: "Keep on Loving You"- REO Speedwagon: When I was in high school, the cool thing in relationships was having a song. The most common relationship song of my high school years was "Thunder" by Boys like Girls. ...but not for me. I really was not one that favored this trend. I did not really understand the concept and still do not, unless it was like a movie montage moment- then as you all know, I am completely okay with it. Unfortunately for me, a guy I dated found out I really liked this song. He decided it was "our song". How do you just take a song and decided it's "ours"? It is not ours. REO Speedwagon has the copyright claims. Also, if anybody were to have claims to this song it would be Nicole and Chase from Drive Me Crazy- duh. Unfortunately for me, I cannot think of the romantic relations between Nicole and Chase as they found love in a hopeless place. The song is just a reminder of high school stupidity and I do not like being reminded of stupid things.
   
2. "Cyclone" by some stupid artist: "She moves here body like a cyclone, makes me wanna do it all night long" ... Whoever this artist is, he is not a lyrical genius. Why would you want to do a cyclone? Cyclones are evil forces of nature. I am not sure I ever liked this song. It was whiny and just not my type of music. Unfortunately, other people absolutely adored it- a harlot in particular. This harlot was never a very nice lady. She kind of tormented me my entire time since moving to my current residence in the fifth grade. & at the end of the day, I just do not like songs that are associated with harlots or cyclones. I am kind of terrified of cyclones.
   
3.  "Happy" by NeverShoutNever: This song I can still kind of listen to until I remember what it is associated with. Never make someone's ringtone a good song. End of story. This person and me had a falling out- this was their ringtone.  They do not make me happy, whether I know it or not ( a nice pun of the song lyrics for those of you that are not familiar with it).
   
4. "Honkeytonk Badonkeydonk" by some country artist: No one will understand why this song is ruined for me, unless they were at our 8th grade dance. They hosted a dance contest, where you performed a routine you made and what not. One girl in particular performed a solo. I am still horrified and can still mimic some of the moves. Forever engraved in my memory. Oooo-whee Shut your mouth, slap your grandma. Again, a lyrical genius did not write this song either. Who in their right mind would slap their grandma?
   
5. "All Star" by Smash Mouth: 8th grade just was not a good year for me and music. Somebody thought it was a good idea to host a middle school lip sync competition; I am pretty sure at the time I thought it was the greatest thing ever- like literally the greatest thing. It was a competition between "home rooms" and my class decided on this lovely gem. It is not like we lost or anything; we got third, but I definitely have no idea how. It's more the memory of what our routine was. It involved dribbling basketballs, pretending we had NBA swag, and then a choreographed routine with balls. I sucked at basketball, was awkward and swag-less, and at the time was a terrible at learning routines (also, no short person looks good in large shorts). I was also very nervous because at the time I wanted to impress the guy who would soon be my first boyfriend. He either was awkward and swagless too or felt bad for me. I am guessing it was the latter. Needless to say, I really hope no one has this videotaped.
   

Honorable Mention: "I love you always forever"-Donna Lewis. This song would have made the list, but luckily the amount of wonderful memories with this song out weighs the bad. All I picture now when I hear this song is my sisters and myself singing this in the car when were little; oh and that moment a few months ago with my sister and I where we kind of danced around a little bit in a Payless store because it was the radio- we are adults. Sometimes.

Until next time....

Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. This is the final installment of the my muses blogs. Hope you enjoyed them- sorry this one came so late in the game;  just needed to figure out how to correctly approach the final muse.