My blog is turning into a sassy review blog. Sorry bout that. Blame College.

So I saw a post today & it made me giggle extremely too much. Plus it's relevant to this blog post. It was simply a cartoon image of two women discussing dieting. One woman's speech bubble says: "You are what you eat." The second woman (me in this case)'s speech bubble said the following: "Then I need to eat a skinny person." If only it were that easy....

College students are eating our feelings from the stress of finishing the semester with our GPA still somewhat in tact. Christmas time is in full swing and sugar coated treats are in abundance. & Victoria's Secret has officially created a million New Year's Resolutions with their annual Victoria Secret Fashion Show.

From spray-tanned perfection to perfectly flowing hair, the models were once again flawless. I do not know about you all, but I suddenly feel like I should not have eaten those 5 chocolate star candies. I also have a strange feeling that my Pinterest will soon have an overwhelming amount of pins dealing with these fierce feathered ladies. Nonetheless, I am very much angry at my family genetics and my fat, sausage-casing like thighs. Also, I have a strange jealousy of the models that got to wear the Pom-Pom and Pinwheel wings. Thumbs up to the creative mind behind those. They were fantastic.  But maybe one day I could achieve the wind blown, hair perfection. Only Maybe though. With all things set aside, I feel like even the normal-Midwest girl like myself could possibly achieve feeling worthy while wearing her Victoria Secrets.

These are necessities that I have learned I need in order to look 1/10th as pretty as a Victoria's Secret Model:

•  A stockpile of Fake Eye-lashes:Your eyes just look better with them. Plus they are extremely flirty and girly and to feel like a VS Model, you must be flirty and girly. & if you can achieve it, upgrade that girly to womanly. Actually scratch everything I have said. Aim for womanly sex appeal and do this by never leaving the house without your fake-eye lashes applied properly.

• Music must be  playing when I walk Anywhere: This Fashion show has just solidified the fact that we all deserve a movie like montage moment. When you walk with sass, sure it's a sassy walk. But when you walk with sass and a beautiful man like Bruno Mars serenading in the background, you walk like one bad-ass lady. Since most of us are incapable of having Bruno Mars serenade us, I vote we re-invest in boom boxes. We can bring back the 80's and 90's fad. It could be cool, right? ...Yeah, probably not. 

• You can never have too much Glitter: This fact was just proven by this fashion show. If the VS models approve of glitter-izing everything, then of course so should we! New life motto: Everything is better with glitter! 

 

• Sun-Kissed Skin: Unless you are pretty and pasty, you best be prepared to sun-kiss your skin- but be careful. If you turn your skin Snooki-Orange, you are failing in this lesson of being a Victoria Secret model. The goal is to have healthy, shimmering skin- not imitate a citrus fruit.

• Matching-Underwear: Normal woman do not typically own matching underwear and bras. & if they do, they typically do not strive to match their undergarments everyday. This must change in order to channel your inner VS Model self. To feel womanly, match those bras and panties. Matching is classy.

• A Pair of Wings: To be the best inner angel we can be, of course we need wings. & no, your fairy wings from your last years Halloween costume will not do. That would disappoint Tyra and we would not want to cause a Tyra melt-down. As I said earlier, I really want a pair of Pom-Pom or Pinwheel wings. Though all the wings in the "Angels in Bloom" portion of the show were fantastic- especially the lilac ones. I feel like picking a pair of VS like wings would be like picking a wand at Ollivander's- they just kind of choose you.
  

& that's my weekly dose of random opinions.

Apologies for all my thoughts on pop-culture lately. I just really like pop-culture. That's what makes me....

Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. After watching this VS Fashion show, I have one main thought. "Life: I'm doing it wrong."