Slapping Myself Silly.

We all have a list.

You could have one, three, maybe hundreds in your archives.

Ruined songs.

I love music, if you cannot tell by the amount I blog about the wonderful cultural creation. It is an escape from reality or even better, a way to enhance reality. When I hear a song, it doesn't just go in one ear and out the other; it stays with me. I like to embrace each note, each phrase, each chorus. I cling to to the lryics and cuddle them like they are a new boyfriend. I find music more enjoyable when you are more than just acquaintances; I like to get nice and cozy with each rift.
Music is my long lost lover.

The only problem with music is its lack of monogamy.

I get so personal with music, that I get heavily offended when other people say they "love that song too". YOU DON'T LOVE THAT SONG LIKE I LOVE THAT SONG. I just do not appreciate that my long lost lover is constantly cheating on me with other women and men. Eventually I get over the anger and realize that it is kind of inevitable and kind of ridiculous. I then also realize that sometimes it's nice to relate with someone over a song; you find that common interest, which leads to other common interests, and form friendships and sometimes relationships.

Other times, this relation can ruin a song or artist forever.

If you think about it, when a bond begins with song- this song is thus associated with that person. That person could stay wonderful to infinity and beyond, but let's face it. People are people. People are always changing and molding themselves as they age. People lie. People cheat. People are emotionless. People are smelly. People are prettier than you are.  People can kind of suck. When people still live on their mothers milk (definition of sucking. the example used to explain the definition was "sucking pig"), it takes a song with some good memories, and adds other memories, that result in many bad memories. Because in the end, the bad always conquers the good so that is what we remember.

& so as an ode to the people songs I now hate,  here are my top 5 ruined songs and artists:

1. TOP OFFENDER: "Keep on Loving You"- REO Speedwagon: When I was in high school, the cool thing in relationships was having a song. The most common relationship song of my high school years was "Thunder" by Boys like Girls. ...but not for me. I really was not one that favored this trend. I did not really understand the concept and still do not, unless it was like a movie montage moment- then as you all know, I am completely okay with it. Unfortunately for me, a guy I dated found out I really liked this song. He decided it was "our song". How do you just take a song and decided it's "ours"? It is not ours. REO Speedwagon has the copyright claims. Also, if anybody were to have claims to this song it would be Nicole and Chase from Drive Me Crazy- duh. Unfortunately for me, I cannot think of the romantic relations between Nicole and Chase as they found love in a hopeless place. The song is just a reminder of high school stupidity and I do not like being reminded of stupid things.
   
2. "Cyclone" by some stupid artist: "She moves here body like a cyclone, makes me wanna do it all night long" ... Whoever this artist is, he is not a lyrical genius. Why would you want to do a cyclone? Cyclones are evil forces of nature. I am not sure I ever liked this song. It was whiny and just not my type of music. Unfortunately, other people absolutely adored it- a harlot in particular. This harlot was never a very nice lady. She kind of tormented me my entire time since moving to my current residence in the fifth grade. & at the end of the day, I just do not like songs that are associated with harlots or cyclones. I am kind of terrified of cyclones.
   
3.  "Happy" by NeverShoutNever: This song I can still kind of listen to until I remember what it is associated with. Never make someone's ringtone a good song. End of story. This person and me had a falling out- this was their ringtone.  They do not make me happy, whether I know it or not ( a nice pun of the song lyrics for those of you that are not familiar with it).
   
4. "Honkeytonk Badonkeydonk" by some country artist: No one will understand why this song is ruined for me, unless they were at our 8th grade dance. They hosted a dance contest, where you performed a routine you made and what not. One girl in particular performed a solo. I am still horrified and can still mimic some of the moves. Forever engraved in my memory. Oooo-whee Shut your mouth, slap your grandma. Again, a lyrical genius did not write this song either. Who in their right mind would slap their grandma?
   
5. "All Star" by Smash Mouth: 8th grade just was not a good year for me and music. Somebody thought it was a good idea to host a middle school lip sync competition; I am pretty sure at the time I thought it was the greatest thing ever- like literally the greatest thing. It was a competition between "home rooms" and my class decided on this lovely gem. It is not like we lost or anything; we got third, but I definitely have no idea how. It's more the memory of what our routine was. It involved dribbling basketballs, pretending we had NBA swag, and then a choreographed routine with balls. I sucked at basketball, was awkward and swag-less, and at the time was a terrible at learning routines (also, no short person looks good in large shorts). I was also very nervous because at the time I wanted to impress the guy who would soon be my first boyfriend. He either was awkward and swagless too or felt bad for me. I am guessing it was the latter. Needless to say, I really hope no one has this videotaped.
   

Honorable Mention: "I love you always forever"-Donna Lewis. This song would have made the list, but luckily the amount of wonderful memories with this song out weighs the bad. All I picture now when I hear this song is my sisters and myself singing this in the car when were little; oh and that moment a few months ago with my sister and I where we kind of danced around a little bit in a Payless store because it was the radio- we are adults. Sometimes.

Until next time....

Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. This is the final installment of the my muses blogs. Hope you enjoyed them- sorry this one came so late in the game;  just needed to figure out how to correctly approach the final muse.