Coffee House Slam Poetry Night.

I have no life.

While working on an assignment for school and a write-up for a new article for the paper, I lack the extra creativity to post my normal sassy blog tonight.

But since the response lately has been so wonderful, I thought I'd share some personal poetry with you all this evening from my archives. & as all those who write poetry know, poems are always a work in progress and never quite finished.

Poems Written by Me, Isn't that neat? 1,2,3. Look, I'm rhyming.

#4 , Hold the Onions

Greasy aroma filled the air,

as waded up dollar bills

and change filled the pockets

of the impatient herd of wildebeests

waiting to order their #4 no onions,

super-sized with a diet coke.

Sitting in a wobbly chair

I took a bite from my unsatisfying salad.

That’s when I first noticed the king beast.

Eyes on the prize,

Vividly starring down at its prey.

Drip, drop, drip drop.

Slobber dribbled from the beast's chin.

As it licked his lips,

its hands moved to

pick up the delicacy.

A pickle plopped on the dirty table,

as the beast slowly pried its chin open.

The food moving closer each second

to the bottomless cave of decay.

The beast devoured its prey,

Ripping into the imitation carcass as

ketchup began to cover its chin.

In disgust, I quickly got up

and put away my dirtied tray,

leaving the restaurant pondering

the important lesson learned that day.

Never come between a fast food fiend
and their greasy double cheeseburger.

A poem about Grilled Cheese

Is a grilled cheese a paradox? I really want to know.

Technically you don't grill the cheese, you grill the bread you know?

Unless you put the bread in between two slices of cheese, it never touches the pan.

That is if you made it properly and it doesn't overflow.

In fact the bread doesn't even touch the pan, until the butter melts into its core.

Would it better be entitled grilled butter with cheese and toast?

Or bread fried in a pan, with cheese inside, encompassed by butter.

Outlandish or not, the question is asked,

Is grilled cheese a paradox? If only we could know.

 

Rupert

The french are much

smaller than the English

you know?

But the pudginess

comes with

both breeds.

Carved in cast iron

or a metal of some sort,

Rupert sits, waiting.

His collar is tarnishing,

while his eyes are reddened,

like that of a town drunkard.

He has been the protector and

guard dog of living rooms

since the late 1800's.

His nose and paws are quite

scratched up from one too

many fights with vacuum cleaners.

Always sitting, staring,

and unlike other bulldogs,

he never drools.

That is what is great

about a guard dog

made of cast iron.

Rupert is always ready to pounce.

& So She Began

She was nothing but,
a broken soul.
Full of high hopes and,
a half emptied flask.

The world was,
cruel.
But the whispers were,
worse.

She gave herself one last listen,
& so she stopped.

At first the silence was,
comforting.
But over thinking tendencies,
distressed her.

She gave herself one last thought,
& so she stopped.

Emotionless she wandered,
lost.
With one last swig of,
rum.

She dropped the flask,
& so she stopped.

As her hands,
trembled.
She ran towards,
the light.

She felt her soul slowly returning,

& so she began

& as a bonus, here is a poem written in less than 5-minutes before my composition class:

 

Classtime Mediation

There's a strange serenity

in the silence before class.

Looking past the noisy zips
and slams of notebooks
as students pile into desks.
A click of a pen and
a rip of a notebook's paper
flesh. All encompassed by
the beige and white walls as
the clock ticks.

Tick-tock.

Tick-tock.

& so class begins.

Well hopefully tonight's blog does not disappoint. Look forward to a new sassy blog soon.

& for now, I'm just

Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. Feel free to leave your thoughts in comments section below or don't. It is really whatever you'd like to do. Until next time...

I Owe A lot of My Life Choices to the Olsen Twins

& frankly, I am not ashamed.

    My childhood was the Olsen Twins. Full house, at the time, was fantastic. I could never get enough of it (though now, I find it seriously wrong and have a lot of issues with it). Their movies? BEST THINGS EVER. If you did not watch them, you are a soul sucking demon-Sorry, I'm just very emotional about this subject. These girls were everywhere. Not only in the movie and television industry, but in the fashion and cosmetic industry as well.

    Did you know they had their own line of styling products? I did. I owned the Mary-Kate & Ashley blow dryer. It came with a little booklet on tips to get your hair to look just like theirs. One tip in particular, said "use the cool button, to get your hair soft just like Ashley's". Every time I used my cool button, I picture my hair blowing like Ashley Olsen's and feel just awesome. Oh and did you know they had their own clothing line? It was way better than Miley Cyrus's line. It was also sold in Walmart stores.

    I begged my mom to buy one outfit in particular, which I would wear on my first day at my new school in fifth grade. I needed the power of Mary-Kate & Ashley to give me the confidence I needed to walk into the world of the unknown. What was this fabulous outfit you ask? Though a picture would do it better justice, I walked with sass wearing a white t-shirt with a silhouette of a senorita holding a rose her in mouth. I believe it had rhinestones on it as well. The shirt wasn't enough though. To top the outfit, I wore the matching rosette pants. Yes- I wore jeans, from Walmart, that were covered in red roses. & yes, I felt like a badass all thanks to good ol' Mary-Kate & Ashley.

The Many Badass Things Mary-Kate & Ashley
Taught Me Through Film and Television:

• To Grandmother's House We Go: This movie was probably only a success because of the twin's sitcom "Full House". This movie enforces the rule I obeyed by my mother's word till the age ten: only ride your bike around the block. You cannot cross the street. You'd think the view would get boring, but with a creative mind you can do wonders. Except in the movie, their bike route also coincided with a bus route (not fair), allowing them to go on the adventure of a lifetime. They eventually get kidnapped and everything, but don't worry; they get to see Grandma eventually!
  
• Double Double Toil & Trouble: Just to start off, this is possibly one of my favorite Halloween movies ever. I can't even count on all my hands and toes how many times I've seen it. It is extremely in-depth for a children's film, which is why if you want a synopsis click here. The movie ultimately has a theme of friendship; the two young twins make friends with a gravedigger, a poor man, and even a clown. The movie teaches you not to judge anyone by their outside; also, good prevails over evil Aunt Agithas.
  
• It Takes Two: As stated in previous blogs, I don't love easily. It's just not my thang. This movie could be part of the reason. This movie is excellent. It makes me hope that somewhere out there I have an identical twin. It also makes me hope that one day I will have a cool butler that knows everything about me. Besides those cool things, there is also a macaroni and cheese food fight. Plus Kirstie Alley and Deputay Dog (Big Green Reference) are in it. What does this have to do with love? Nothing, yet. This movie has one of my favorite love quotes in it.....[drumroll]  "Can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of love". It reassures me that being picky isn't a bad thing. By living life like Mary-Kate & Ashley, I deserve a love like the biggest achievement in Major League Baseball, which I most certainly do.
  
• Billlboard Dad: I always wished one of my friends would have a single parent. I thought it would be so much fun to paint their face on a Billboard. But then there is the whole issue of legality and I don't like breaking laws. Plus with my art skills, people would just wonder who the peanut head looking for ladies was.
  
  

  But the movie I've learned from most:

  
  
• You're Invited to Mary Kate & Ashley's: Slumber Party: Hands down, this was the best of the "Your Invited" mini series. It was pretty much a guide to having the best slumber party ever. For quality blogging, I decided to re-watch this, which was the best decision I have made in the past week.
  
  • I knew the whole intro-song. When ever I get invites on Facebook, I shamelessly sing it: "You're invited! come on we've got a lot to do. You're invited! We're excited and delighted to see you. You're invited! Bring your friends along, Laugh and sing a song." 
  • This series also taught me the importance of RSVP'ing. "If it's up to me, you'll RSVP".
  •  This one also teaches you sweet dance moves. "You gotta take a chance, you gotta dare to dance". I will never be scared to break out my sweet dances moves again- Thanks Mary Kate & Ashley. 
  • Have a brother you don't want? Sell him. 
  • A slumber party isn't complete without playing video games. With lyrics such as "It started out so innocently. A game of skill, a little fantasy. But it's alive now like never before and Toto I don't think we are in control anymore," I don't know why this hit tune didn't receive a Grammy. 
  • After tiring from video games, they tell scary stories. It wouldn't be complete, without another musical number and costume change. Frankly creepy, I remember really wishing I could do such things at my slumber parties. 
  • Order a pizza with nothing on it, then sing the best song of the whole movie. "Gimme Pizza. P-I-Z-Z-A. I want Pizza...  Pasta...Put it in the pizza. Fish sticks...Put it in the pizza.
    Ketchup...Put it in the pizza. Meatloaf...awww Put it in the pizza. Pizza, P-I-Z-Z-A. Gimme pizza. Add some tacos, Ole!" That's right. They put everything from the fridge in the pizza and they ATE IT. Epic. Epic. Epic.
  • Late Night Pillow Fight. No slumber party is complete with out it.
  • STAY UP ALL NIGHT. UNTIL THE MORNING LIGHT. WE'RE THROWING THROWING THROWING AN ALL NIGHTER TONIGHT. But they really don't; they fall asleep. They create a song about how fun it'd be to sleep a little bit (how lame is that?).

I'm a little obsessed, but I think it's a healthy obsession. 

Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. That's right. A 2 for 1. 2 blogs one night. I must really like you all. & since I like you all even more, here is a link to watch the best movie ever.

The Problems of a Well Made Mixtape

Mixtapes.

Here is the Wikipedia Definition of a Mixtape:

" generic name given to any compilation of songs recorded onto a Compact Cassette, Compact Disc, music file, or any other audio format. A mixtape, which usually reflects the musical tastes of its compiler, can range from a casually selected list of favorite songs, to a conceptual mix of songs linked by a theme or mood, to a highly personal statement tailored to the tape's intended recipient."

The first time I made a mixtape was in elementary school. Somehow I had acquired a whole pack of blank cassette tapes. Don't ask me how- it just happened. (We have already covered more than a few times that I was a weird kid). With these tapes, I had endless possibilities. Most kids at this time recorded songs off the radio and such. Not me. I decided to recorded bits of songs off of cds I already owned on to a cassette tape. Genius? - No, but I thought I was one. It was entitled none other than "Shelby's Hit Clip Mix".

The first mixtape I received was at another elementary school birthday party. My best friend, Whitney, burnt me a cd of all my favorite songs at the time. She had one of those nifty programs that you could even make labels with. My birthday mixtape (which is still in my possession) was decorated in a rainbow of crayola crowns. It was shiny and absolutely beautiful and extremely well made. Off the top of my head I can recall a few tracks:

• I've Never had a Dream Come True by 7 Club Seven
• From A.M. to P.M. by Christina Milian
• Roller coaster Ride by Jump 5

By the time high school rolled around, mixtapes became a way of life- it lacked the luster. My best friends and I literally made one for everything. Oh- we are going to taco bell tonight? NEW MIXTAPE. Oh- we are driving three blocks? NEW MIXTAPE. Oh, we are going to school? NEW MIXTAPE. I even received one from my high school cheer coach. She had each of us write down our favorite song at the time. Of course, my best friend Suzanne & I chose some weird alternative song that did not fit with the rest of the choices. I remember quite well that Suzanne's pick was "Lying is the Most fun a Girl can Have Without Taking off her Clothes" by Panic at the Disco. No one questioned our weird choices though because quite frankly we were us. The mixtape was obviously a flop. Telling 14 or so girls to choose their favorite song, then trying to make them coincide just doesn't really work when you do not have 14 stereotypical cheerleaders. To make matters even worse, the CD was entitled "Cheerlious" ....None of us had the heart to tell our coach it was spelled wrong.

The last mixtape I received is actually the backbone for tonight's blog (prepare yourselves).

I attend classes on Monday and Wednesday in a town thirty minutes away, so I spend a lot of the time alone in the car. While toiling with the fact that I am not going to be able to eat till noon or creating ideas to blog, I simply get lonely. When the loneliness is too much, I turn to the radio. Music can solve any situation and simply make the drive go by smoothly. The other day, the radio cut to one of those poorly-written, cheesy, morning talk shows. & so began the hunt for a good cd.

For those who don't know me, you think this might be a simple task- but no. I have a pile of about 40 some cds in my console. I have not gotten rid of a single mixtape made since elementary school. The crappy ones, the sad ones, the random ones- they are still there. Shiny, some sticky from a soda spill or two. While playing "Eenie Meenie" with the array of choices, I reached for a lovely gold one. It had a swirl design- it was not one I recalled off the top of my head. After a few seconds into the first song, I remembered why.

This wasn't just a mixtape given to me with no meaning. It wasn't meant for a drive to get myself a crunchy taco. This was a mixtape given to me by a boy (long gone), which is why it was buried so deep in the pile...To make matters worse, I loved every song on the cd, which is why things have become problematic. Listening to this cd, not knowing it's meaning, is a joyous occasion. I sing along. I rap a little bit. I pretend I'm Carried Underwood or Beyonce. I'm kind of the most talented car singer you will ever meet. Just saying. Then, five seconds later, I remember why I have this great cd. The memory of the great cd, brings back the memories of a boy long gone. Now, you may be wondering "why isn't she with said boy with awesome music tastes"? Well because frankly, it wasn't really much of a relationship (though it was Facebook official for like a month). This whole scenario is just a slippery slope like the book "If you give a mouse a cookie".

So here are the major problems I find with a well made mixtape:

1. You might never have one better than it: Reaching the ultimate combination of sweet tracks is not just an everyday achievement. You may have to wait years or decades before achieving a mixtape as great as the one of the past.
2. The songs on it remind you of said mixtape: Some of these songs might be your favorites. You might listen to them daily, then SPLAT! They are put on a fantastic mixtape and when listening to them, you always hope for it to be followed by the next track. You then face disappointment as you realize you weren't listening to said mixtape.
3. Questioning Judgements: If you are facing a similar scenario to myself, your friends might question your judgements. Most people do not get attached to cds. They simply see them as a disposal item. YOU CAN'T THROW AWAY THOUGHTS AND DREAMS. That's what music is to me. This songs take me to places I can't go to in my podunk town. Throwing away a great mixtape, is throwing away all the dreams you have while listening to it. As long as you can cope with the fact that at one point it had a different meaning, you are a-okay.
4. Lou, Lou, Skip to My Lou: The dreaded skip from a dreaded scratch. The moment when you are really into your favorite mixtape then all of a sudden it happens. You are singing a long to "Flagpole sitta" and the lyrics go from "I'm not sick but I'm not well" into complete jibberish. It's a cringe worth moment that I know all to well. 
5.  Songs get overplayed: When a mixtape is so good you don't want to switch it, your car companions and friends might begin to hate you. Most people can only listen to a song so many times before they stop enjoying it. I have never been one of these people, but I'm sure my friends are. I have worn out many a songs for them. 
6. With a damn good mixtape, comes damn good responsibility: When making mixtapes for others, if you make them a fantastic one, you are always living up to that standard. If you set the bar to high, you might become a constant failure in future endeavors of mixtape making.

As far as this mixtape in particular goes, it took me only a few moments to look past the original meaning. I listened to it in its entirety. It is now located back in the pile resting till the time again when it meets my cd player. 

& that's all folks.

Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. If you are making a mixtape, also beware of what songs you are putting on it when giving it to someone special. The less creepy, the better. Try not to look like me in this really messed up gif.

It's the most wonderful time of the year....

It's the most wonderful time of the year, with the teens all
fan girling, and everyone telling you "One Direction's here"
It's the most wonderful time of the year
It's the hap-happiest season of all. With those video greetings and celebrities meetings,. When stars come to brawl,
It's the hap- happiest season of all
There's a red carpet for toasting, Kevin Hart's hosting, And K-Stew's left out of the show. There'll be scary fashion choices, And tales of the glories of VMA's long, long ago.
It's the most wonderful time of the year .
There will be way too much tweeting,And our hearts will be beating, When our celebrity crushes are on our TV,
It's the most wonderful time of the year!

THE MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS!

Being a pop culture obsessed, young adult- I live for almost any award show. Award shows and me go together like a like ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong . But the VMA's hold a special place in my heart. Everything about this award show is just great. From fan girling over-load to the insane and somewhat questionable fashion choices, every aspect is more than a little wonderful. Plus it honors the original purpose of MTV here. HELLO. "Music Television". Celebrating the music videos of the year, it honors celebrities for their work in the industry. It recaps all the catchy, overplayed songs that you cannot help, but love. Don't lie- after slinging down 6 shots last Friday night, you attempted to rap Nicki Minaj's "Super Bass" and failed quite terribly. And who hasn't been guilty of serenading themselves with a little One Direction?

SPOILER ALERT:

So for your blogging pleasure, here are my rants and raves from the 2012 MTV Video Music Awards:

• Pink's performance of "Blow Me One Last Kiss" : Pink is wonderful. She always has been and always will be. Her CD Missundaztood was my first explicit cd I owned; it was a gift from one of my best friends at my fourth grade birthday party. It is still on my list of best birthday presents ever. I cannot even think of one single track that I disliked. I had choreographed routine to the album titled track "Missundaztood"; I really want to attempt to remember it, but right now I'm quite comfortable on my couch. Back to her performance- she didn't over do it. She stood true to Pink. She did her thing and had a hell of a performance. Plus teasing us with "I'm coming out so you better get the party started" did not hurt in the least.
  
• Nicki Minaj's Outfit: No one looks good in black tight spandex, with red stripping. Plus adding the glitter.And does she not know yellow hair is associated with Lady Gaga?   Girl, you could do so much better. I prefer her 2011 VMA outfit. Overload of pink, bows, and all things fuzzy, it was much more her.
  
•  Andy Samberg and Rashinda Jones : I love them. Excellent partnering choice MTV. Enough said.
  
• One Direction: Don't get me wrong, I'm occasionally quite the Directioner, but this is a rant. Sure they looked adorable as ever, their hair was great, and then there is their accents. (Swoon). Here is my rant. Obviously, they have a huge fan base. Pinning them up against every other artist really is not fair. Losing an award, just won't happen or the die hard Directioners will hurt themselves. I just feel like in situations like these that there should be a limit on how many awards you are nominated for. Plus when they are pinning them up against some of my other loves, the pain kills me. I can only handle so much fan-girling emotions.
  
• Rebel Wilson: "Who Wants to be the chip in my dip?" ....still laughing. I love you Rebel. If you don't know who Rebel Wilson is by name, you should know her by movie. She play's Kristen Wig's weird roommate in "Bridesmaids". You know the one that get's a free tattoo from a guy in a van? Add her to the list of people that I want to be best friends with.
  
• Kevin Hart: By far, one of the best choices for host MTV could have made (much better than Russel Brand). He had the right sense of humor for this type of award show fan base. It was funny for young adults like myself and the pre-teens still laughed. He did an excellent job having a witty comment for any type of viewer. From the Drake & Chris Brown brawl to bringing in some basketball lingo, he couldn't have done better. Well, except for the fact that he sided with K-Stew (Team Rob all the way).
  
• Ke$ha: Rant and rave. For some reason, her outfit really bugged me. It just did not seem to fit her. She just looked too classy to be Ke$ha, which I should give her credit for. Being half naked and still looking classy must mean something. Outfit aside, she made my day when she announced her new album. It's about time. I can only get sleazy for so long before I question my morals.
  
• 2 Chainz: I did not know who he was until tonight. Just so you all know.
  
• Lil Wayne: Only Lil Wayne could pull off Donnie Thornberry styled shorts and still look badass. Even though most of his performance sounded like "bleeep. bleeep. bleeep. bleeep" on my television at home, I'm sure it was fantastic live.
  
• Green Day: For some reason, I had no idea Green Day was as old as they are. At least they have aged well. 40 years old and they are still rocking out like they are 20.  Their performance was what the VMA's are about. Simply playing music, not giving a damn, and doing what an artist does best. As Rebecca Black best said, "Partying Partying".
  
• Twilight Exclusive Clip: Much anticipated, frankly to see who was presenting. Thank the lord, no K-Stew in sight. Rob Pat, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, and Elizabeth Reaser presented the exclusive clip for the final movie. It's unbelievable that it has come to an end. "Breaking Dawn" was by far my favorite of the three books. The movie, part one, was very disappointing. From talking wolves to terribly dramatic scenes, it failed to impress me. I'm worried the third could possibly be the same. Just from the clip, seeing K-Stew attacking a mountain lion already made me giggle. Here's to hoping the movie is much better than the clip.
  
• The FAB 5: Public speaking obviously isn't their best subject. But they have a bunch of gold medals, so I will let it go. I would trade my speech skills just to have a bit of their gymnastic talents any day though. Plus Gabby Douglas totally made Alicia Key's performance tolerable.
  
• Rihanna & Katy Perry Hoe-Mance: I guess Hoe-mance is the proper term of a female Bromance; if it is not, well then I'm making it one. Watching the two whisper, giggle, and sing to each other the entire evening just made me miss my best friend.
  
• T-Swift's Performance: I loved it. I really like how she incorporated the theme of her music video into her stage performance. Her outfit was simple and not over done. Plus, I love this song. I shamelessly sang along when she asked the audience to. #SorryImNotSorry

Only 365 days till I get to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year again. Thank the lord MTV likes to replay the VMA's a lot of times for my viewing pleasure.

Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. Since the lack of blogging this past week, look for a new post in the next few days. You keep reading, I'll keep posting.