Textual Relationships, Daring Distance, And The Feels

All the Feels.

 Well lovelies, I suppose I am back. A little rusty, but ready to write my ramblings. Please be patient with my ramblings being fine tuned. Since my last posted blog, all I have written is ramblings. Quite a lot of ramblings, but this is the first one I have put together to share. Enjoy. Share. And hopefully I'll have more for you soon. 

With today's dating world headed in its current direction, I think some of these classic throwback jamz need a little lyrical updating. 

 

 

 

Remember Sisqo's, “So Sexual”. If it were written today, it would be “So Textual.”

“It's givin' me a chill. Everytime I think about the texts we send. It makes my heart sink deep into my soul Everywhere I go I'm always thinkin' of when we text 

Wanna go back to the day, When ya called a girl every day, Gotta take the chance to hear ya say. Hello. Girl you know you rock my world”

Sexual Seduction by Snoop? Try "Textual Seduction".

“She might be with him but shes textin 'bout me me meeeeeeee. We don't go to the mall, we don't go out to eat eat eeeaat. All that we ever do is text all night night niggght. Cue up some Netflix and go back to sleep sleep slee---p

'Cuz we done got us, a textual eruption."

& a personal favorite...

While J.T. Used to bring Sexyback, now all he wants to know is “Will you text me back?”

Will you text me back? [Nope] All these boys don't know how to act [Nope] I think it's special, So pick up the slack [Yup]

Snap me babe, You see these texts, baby. I am waitttting. I'll let you kiss me if we ever go on a date. It's just that no one makes me feel this way

[Chorus] Come on Boy (Go 'head, be gone with it), Text me back (Or go be gone with it)

Let's talk about Texts Baby.

In this day and age, it is hard to tell what you are, who you are, and who you want to be. Let alone, mixing all those wonders with another persons wonders and trying to form a “relationship.”

You can feel like you know a person- like really, truly know them. You know them in and out, all around. You know their favorite things. You just feel like everyday your life kind of revolves around this person.

But the reality is that this person only exists because of a cell phone. 

 

 

It is a bit ridiculous how things have changed so drastically in relatively little time. It is no longer acceptable to send beautiful love notes via snail mail. Nor, is it okay to have long phone call conversations [from a payphone or landline] expressing feelings and talking about the events of your day. It is 140 characters or less. These 140 characters may come daily, but more often than not, they come every few days. Some people may not even have someone that texts them. They might communicate through Snap chats. How are you supposed to fall in love with little words and quick snapshots of your daily life?

I am not sure you can. 

Especially, if you do not put effort into it.

You communicate like this for days, weeks, sometimes months, not knowing when an actual date will occur. You do it all in hopes that this person might be worth it. Maybe, just maybe, this one will lead to a relationship. A concept so foreign in your life. Relationships require connections texts cannot create. Not knowing the exact direction, things get stressful.

It is a downward spiral of emotions that eventually get old. Eventually, you need a physical relationship to develop. A relationship you thought you were building with somebody, but it has never appeared.

All I can  say is... it sucks. I have been there. Grab a glass of your beverage of choice and let's have a chat.

It sucks when all you want is to tell your day to somebody other than your dog or mom. Spill your problems and maybe get some input. Or simply just sit down and have a conversation. A real conversation with emotional cues and possibly hand gestures [if you are like me and occasionally talk with your hands].

You want to have this with this person you have built a “textual relationship” with, but they are never physically there. You start to question what you are doing. You look back at your past conversations and they are all nonsense. You feel like you know this person. But do you even know this person at all? Can you answer what color their eyes are without looking at a picture? Have you ever heard their voice? Do you know how to tell when they are mad, angry, sad, elated? Can you tell?

The answer is more than likely no.

You cannot tell.

You might know their eye color because you have a picture of them. It probably is not even a picture of you two together because you probably have never even hung out together yet. Or if you have hung out together, you probably were not all like, "LET'S HAVE A PHOTO-OP." Hell, it is very likely that the only picture you have is a screenshot from social media because you had to have proof for your friends.

Your friends can see that you are happy, but why are you happy? You aren't in a relationship. You are simply texting. How has texting evolved into the newest way to find a potential mate?

Really, you and this person are nothing. 

You are just talking to this “invisible” person. This person that has never really appeared in real life. Maybe they have appeared once or twice, but will it ever go past that?

I mean, it is sickening how much worry and thought goes into these “relationships.”

All you want is somebody.

Somebody to sit down every once and awhile and hell, I don't know. Watch a movie. I mean or maybe to take to family functions. Because if you have to hear the dreaded, “why aren't you married yet?” one more time, you might go insane. It would be nice to reassure them that you will not be single your entire life and that you do plan on eventually settling down one day. Sure, they do not need to know that if I never find the one, I plan on settling down with lots of dogs and becoming a crazy dog lady. Because I very well could. Even if I do find a husband one day, I will still be a crazy dog lady and hopefully he will be a crazy dog man. [but I digress].

Who knows what will happen. I cannot predict what life will bring.

If this were science class though, I could form the hypothesis, that if my life follows the current pattern, that I will be in textual relationship, after textual relationship, after textual relationship.

Why? Because in my experience no one wants to break the barrier of textual relationship.

They simply “ghost” and become a distant memory. You mourn and move on.

*For those that don't know what the term “ghosting” means, here is a definition from Urban Dictionary. The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject's maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels. “

I know I have personally been guilty of not wanting to break the barrier. I have been afraid to go on a date because...

• The thought that they might be an atrocious human being.
• I am so very awkward.
• What if the person I have been talking to is not what I have thought them to be in this imaginary lala land of technology? I like my lala land and would hate to disrupt that.
  
  
  
  
  

Dates make me nervous.

And the truth is I have never really been taken on a date.

I mean "dates" kind of went obsolete awhile back in my life. I have been asked on a few since, but I have  always gotten out of them. Why? Because the only other dates I have been on have been with people I was already dating at the time. Dating is a foreign concept to me and many others in today's world.

I miss how easy dating was in highschool. You tell your friend you think a boy is cute. They tell that boy's friend. Boy's friend tells boy. Boy texts you. You guys talk for a week or so. You hang out. If you like each other, you are boyfriend and girlfriend until one of the two feels like no longer dating. You could go through relationships like pieces of candy. No one was scared of them. They just were what you did. 

In the real word , you have a life. The few people I have met that seem willing to take the textual relationship into the dating realm want me to bend my life to fit theirs. 

But, they do not want to bend their life to fit mine.

I work. I do things. I am a full time college student. I have a life. But, I am willing to fit someone in my life, if they seem worth it. But I am not going to work to fit somebody in my life if they are not equally willing. If I travel to see somebody, they better travel to see me. Relationships should not be one way. At least, that is how I see it. It has to go both ways for it to work.

I understand that some people are more into making things work than others.

For me, my problem when dating always comes down to my location. The fact of the matter is, I live in a very small town. While I kind of have a love/hate relationship with my small town, I adore it. I adore it because I can run errands looking like a hot mess. I adore that everyone is comfortable with everyone. That is all besides the point. The point is while I love my small town, I cannot meet people in my small town. There is no one new here. There is no dating scene. For me to date, I am used to having to a drive a little bit. 30 minutes? That's fine. An hour that's fine? 2 hours? It can still work. It is what I have to do for a date. I know it is what I have to do because it is small town life. 

The thing is that the people who want to date me, think because it is I who live in the small town, I have to make the sacrifice. I mean, I personally think I am worth the drive. My small town may not be worth the drive, but I am. Isn't that the point of it? If you like somebody enough, you can meet halfway. You can do something?

It is just a drive.

Hell, I make use out of my drives. This blog was recorded on a drive.

Sure, there may be other things to do during the time you have spent driving. Sure, it might cost some gas money. If you drive to me, there is nothing really to do in this town. There is not really any other costs than that. If there was, I would cover it because you came to me. Isn't that the common courtesy?

I guess I never understood why distance is such a big thing.

It is not just with dating. It is also with friendships.

Some of my best friends have never even been to my hometown. During my third year of college, I decided to switch schools and live at home. My hometown was only 20ish minutes away from the college I left. My friends would get upset because I would not come to town sometimes when they asked, but did they ever come see me? Nope. Why? “Because it was a drive.” Okay then, but I have to drop everything to drive to you?

I want friendships and relationships that think I am worth the drive.

I want somebody who thinks, oh you live there? That's fine. You want me to come to you or you come to me? After that, you just switch it back and forth.

Easy as pie really.

Nothing is complicated unless you make it complicated.

Since I do live in the middle of nowhere, I am willing to meet halfway. Hell, I will pick ya up halfway and chauffeur you the rest. In high school, we would drive an hour to cruise around another town with friends. A few hours to hang out with somebody you like? Priceless.

There are a million ways to make things work. It is just whether or not you want to put in the effort. It is whether or not you think somebody is worth it.

I keep saying this and that makes me think I am not worth it. Because nobody has ever wanted to put in the effort for me.

I am worth it though. I am a spectacular human being.

*Cue some Worth it by Fifth Harmony

A few years ago I could not have said that about myself, but now, I know what I am. I have my flaws and my issues. I am pretty great. I know I am a person that when I care for somebody, I am going to care for them. I am all in. I am the type of person that will pick up random gifts for people because they reminded me of them. I like to make people smile. Am I judgmental sometimes? Yeah. Am I as judgmental as I once was? No.

So my moral of all this gibberish  is that the reality of relationships today is deeply twisted, wrong most of the time, and confusing as hell.

If you are ever in a position like me questioning hell, am I not worth it? 

You are. You most definitely are.

We all have those times when we question every move we make. Did we text too often? Did we not text enough? Do I come off as clingy? While maybe some of those thing might be true, if those were not your intentions, you are fine. I have said it before and I will say it again, and more than likely, again. We all have flaws. If this somebody you have been in a textual relationship with cannot handle that, they are the ones that are wrong.

To give you an example of when we come off different than we intend and feel to blame. One guy I was texting liked to acknowledge “how depressing” I was. That I was always “sad.”

Did they ever ask why? No. They did not care enough to.

They did not care enough to find out that I just lost the most important person in my life- my grandpa. Did they care that a few weeks later my family had another loss? Did they care that my family lost our neighbor who was like family? A person that I said hello to every day I was home for 13 years. Did you care to ask about that? Nope. One day I woke up, and suddenly he was no longer there to say hello to. Those are just a few of the losses my family occurred this year. There was the loss of a person who at one point was a close friend. I hate having to use this example because I do not want to bring attention to it. I do not want to bring this sadness into this, but this is the best example of a reason why you should not assume you know a person. If you think a person is depressed, you should seek to help them and comfort them. You should never, ever shame them. That is why I am sharing this personal tidbit, as a small side PSA.

I mean, if I am a little depressing, I think I am allowed to be and it is okay.

I am not the type of depressed I was at one point in my life. I know the difference. 

When bad things happen, you are allowed to be sad.

 Life sometimes make us sad. Things happen.

If somebody is making you feel inadequate because you are feeling...

Screw them. 

Screw them because they do not know what you have been through. Nor, do they care enough to try to understand or help you through what you are going through. If they just try to brush it off with their positive attitude and act like you are the one with the problem? They have no idea what you have been through.

They should not make you feel less of a person for feeling.

Feeling is okay.

And that is the moral of this blog. Feels. 

Feels are everywhere. They are contagious. I currently have the feels.

If you are confused about what you are with somebody, you are not alone. We are all having these problems because it is how the world is run today.

People want fast. People want easy. They want to be able to text you when they want, then throw you away. If you are too far away? Screw you. You are the problem. Liking you is an inconvenience to them. If you want them, you have to put in all the work. If you get too emotional? They will prefer to hide away because emotions are not really welcome because they complicate things. 

Because what is more complicated. Being single, being in a relationship, or being in a confusing textual relationship?

If you are somebody reading this and thinking, “wow, I have done that to somebody. How do I fix it?”

The answer to that question I do not know.

How do you fix something that is so terribly broken? You cannot just call them up because calling is not an acceptable way to communicate these days. You could maybe text them and be honest. There is a thought. Be honest. Tell the person you are in a textual relationship with what you think the outcome will be. Be courteous. That is all anyone wants. People want somebody to have the courtesy to stand up and speak their mind. The truth might hurt at first sometimes, but it is always better than confusion. There are so many things you can say and do. The real question is do you have the “balls” to do so? 

I know I don't have the balls to do it. I could never just ask somebody out or ask somebody what we are. That is just the type of person I am. I am working on it. I am working on being more vocal in relationships. I am working on growing some cojones. For now, I am who I am.

& that is why, I am Simply Textual Shelby Sue. 

 

P.s. Isn't textual such a fun word to say? I really like to say it like "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia."

Whatta Man, Whatta Man, Whatta Mighty Good Man

I thought the only suitable way to introduce this blog was with the words of Salt n Pepa featuring En Vogue. If you do not know the song I am referencing, I am really not sure why you read this blog. Should we even be friends? Alas, prepare yourselves for some mad rambles and occasional foul language. Felt a bit like a pirate when writing this.

The internet is quick to bash men on their dating habits in this century.

Blogging sites publish articles daily pointing the finger to men for being the ones to blame for everything that is wrong with dating, but women play an equal part; men are the scapegoats. I personally have pointed out flaws in today's dating realm, but I think it is time to acknowledge that not all men in this century are jackasses. A lot of women tend to idolize relationships to an impractical state of mind. I think we can all partly blame the amount of fairy tales we read and watched as young girls.

This unrealistic expectation sometimes leads to women wanting more from men. It also leads to some men trying to create this reality and failing quite miserably. Just because Prince Charming thought Cinderella was beautiful does not mean that you should introduce yourself with "Hi. You're beautiful" or "text me sometime [insert word of choice here: like babe, cutie, sexy, sweet thang, princess (barf)].

While you might make some ladies swoon, I think you need a reality check. Not only did you just make me feel super awkward, you also made me feel like you are only talking to me based off my appearance; that has no appeal to me. Intelligence and wit should be more appealing to you than my recent profile picture change; do certain guys not realize that no one looks as good as they do in their profile picture? It is all about the filters and lighting. Bloody hell- I am only a few sentences in and I have already gone off subject. But you are my readers and for some reason you enjoy my rambles. So before I get too distracted by side issues, the main thing at hand is that there is a sub-category of men out there that get grouped in with all these creepers; men who deserve a shout out.

This is for the men who treat women as they should be treated- remember the golden rule drilled into as kids? In this instance I mean these are the men that treat women like normal human beings because these men are.... [wait for it].... 
 

NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS.

 

 

Thank you for not blowing up our phones 24/7. You will continue on a conversation when you want to, which is how it should be. You do not feel the need to be glued to your phone at all times of the day. You do not necessarily hate the idea of texting in general; you just do not make it a priority. A lesson that should be learnt by a majority of today's society. Real life comes first. Textual relationships should always be on the back burner... unless something super important is happening in your best friends lives. That situation requires you to text like the wind bullseye. I only kept in this side rant because I really wanted to use a Toy Story gif because occasionally I am the equivalent of a five year old. Back on track...

Men like you snap us out of the disillusion world. You empower us women to be independent. You do not let us be needy and you do not let us be suffocating. You give us our own space, which we in return reciprocate.

You do you and let us do us- with the occasional mixing in between. 

 

Never pressuring us into relationships, nor forcing yourselves upon us. You are genuinely a good person. While some may find your disregard for consistency as a flaw, I see it as a quality character trait. You do not force us into a routine or follow any rules; you live life and let things fall into place.

To tell if the guy is a normal guy or actually a douche bag just ignoring you, I have developed a little test. Picture a normal day; picture something extremely terribly happening. If you would text or call a normal guy, even if they do not pick up right away, they will contact you the second they get your message. Even if they are not into you, they will be there for you because normal guys do not lack sympathy. A douche bag will simply ignore it or send you some incredibly generic message; "Sorry." or a personal favorite, "That Sucks."

You are the guy we need when we have had a bad day, but do not necessarily want to talk about it. We can simply Snapchat you like everything is fine and you will typically put us in a better mood. You do not necessarily know our problems; we do not feel you need to know our problems because they are OUR problems, not yours.  You are the guy that is around at 2 a.m. on a Saturday night when we feel the need to spill our hearts out or make drunken comments; by the time the morning rolls around, we never feel shame. Sure we will send the "sorry bout that" text message, but in reality we don't care. Because in reality you are the type of guy that will laugh it off or not judge us. If you judge us, then that is fine. I judge people all the time. It does not necessarily mean you are an asshole; it just means you can point out the occasional flaw or appreciate it. At least that is what I tell myself to  sleep well at night.

If you think you have a normal guy in your life, they are chill and never try to rush life and reality. They aspire to do things and have wants and wishes, but they do not try to force life in a certain direction. They take the lemons given to them and make whatever lemonade they feel like. They know themselves and thus make you wish to know yourself better.

Finding a normal guy is actually quite the task. 

When you find one, hopefully you do not scare them away because they generally make your life better. A normal guy is not necessarily a romantic relationship either. Normal guys are the type of guys you generally want in your life no matter what; they can easily be just your friend as they could be a potential relationship. Whether it be the occasional text, snap, or conversation via social media, their simple presence, even if only occasional, makes your life content. The relationship you develop with them, no matter what it may be, balances out your life with all the not so normal guys.

A normal guy will never be one to stalk your social media accounts. They will not try to pry personal details about you. A normal guy will throw the occasional compliment, but they are not going to shower you every day about how beautiful you are; they realize how weird that is and how awkward it would be if the roles were reversed. I reiterate that a normal guy will not blow your phone up with text messages on a daily basis. It is not necessarily a bad thing to text someone continuously, but conversations like that should never feel forced. A normal guy will also understand if you do not text back immediately or text back immediately; they do not read too much into a text message.  A normal guy has a life outside of you and is not looking for someone to complete his life. A normal guy wants you to be apart of his life because you make it better in some regard, versus you being his missing piece.

Another side rant: None of us are missing pieces. We use this cliche a lot and recently I discovered how much I truly despise it. You are your own puzzle and you must complete you all on your own. Do not be looking for someone else to be the last puzzle piece. If a guy told me I was his missing puzzle piece, I would simply reply, "gag me with a spoon." Now if the guy actually knew the song I was referencing with my reply, he might be worth a second glance.

Back to the blog at hand...

To all the perfectly normal guys, while what we are, were, or might be is always in question, it is comforting to not care or need to know. The fact that you make us comfortable enough to ultimately be ourselves and not care whether you judge us or not is ultimately what makes you a gift from god.

You normal men are a rarity.

It is easy to point fingers at all the men in the world that fail at dating. While some women might disagree and believe the type of guy I call normal is failing at dating, I think they need a round of applause. They are not trying to put on a facade and not trying to be someone they are not. Their outlook on life is making you do the same and turning you into one badass alpha female. What is bad about that?

After all this raving about this perfectly normal guy, I guarantee at least someone is questioning why should we not pursue a relationship with this perfectly normal guy? I answer that with this.

Why should we chase?

 Life and love is not some race or game. It happens when it happens. There is no need to force or rush things. Sure it would be nice if things would move along at a reasonable pace, but this perfectly normal guy might also be perfectly normal for another girl. And that is perfectly okay. That is a reality that we all face at least some point in our lives; there is no need to be mad at him for his feelings because feelings cannot be helped. This is the guy, who no matter what, treated us the way we needed to be treated at the time we met him in life. This is the guy who you might claim is the one that got away, but he got away because he was never meant to be the guy you stayed with.

Some of us need the perfectly normal guy forever. Some of us need the perfectly imperfect guy. We will never know who we end up with because in the end, when love happens, it should seem imperfectly perfect to you and your man.

So to all the normal guys out there that I have had a pleasure of knowing,  thank you for making me feel more confident everyday. Thank you for forcing myself to realize the crazy reality of modern dating. Most importantly, thank you for not treating me like an item, but rather a human being. Thank you for forcing me to grow up and out of my shell. Again, thank you for making me not care because not caring at times is the best thing a person can do.

Men like you make me sane because men like you at the end of the day, truly are not complicated. 

And we all know, I loathe complications. 

& with that sanity, I am...

Simply Thankful Shelby Sue

P.s. It has been a long time. I realize this. Sorry I kind of suck, but I promise to sort of make it up to everybody in some way or somehow; more than likely in kickass blogs that hopefully will be coming your way as long as life does not interfere. 

Snow Time Like Now For A Little Free Write....

No matter how old I am, I will always find magic in a beautiful snow fall.

& as the snow falls tonight, I peer out the window to see a world brightened by this precipitation.

While it brings so much negativity of slick roads, the inability to drive safely, and school closures- the snow often does not get its recognition for how truly beautiful it is. 

It brings me peace and serenity for just a few  moments.

I adore it for that. 

I am sure I will soon be cursing it while my clumsy self will sure enough fall while trying to get around on the slick pavements.

Because that is life.

But for now.

For tonight.

I want to dance beneath the falling white.

Feel the frozen flakes against my skin.

And embrace the true magic. 

Because magic this lovely is hard to come by. 

 

Love at First Swipe

I often wonder what it is like to live in the non-millennial generation. A world without all the technology. A world where you are not constantly connected. A world unplugged, un-bothered, and full of face-to-face communication versus text to text, chat to chat, screen to screen, snap to snap-you catch my drift.

I want to unplug from this generation & 
Plug into an old one.

I find myself battling between hating technology and admiring it for its everything. From adoring our celebrities and getting a simple retweet or favorite, the internet gives you connections that would be impossible for you to ever achieve. You can fall in love with strangers who share similar interests and form friendships across states and oceans. These relationships seem so real because they are real in their own reality- but the reality is they are just a reality through the screen.

You have no idea what this person is actually like. Are they real? Are you going to end up on Catfish? Do they actually relate to you at all? You more than likely will never know. One of the many downfalls of the limitless connections you may make. It may seem like you are perfect for each other; you are only perfect for each other in that realm. That reality. That reality will a majority of the time never break free because it is your escape. The internet is our escape from the real world around us. When real life communication ceases to amuse us, we run to the webs of communication that internet offers us. We find comfort in it and that comfort only works because it is not reality. I am not being pessimistic. I am a firm believer that dreams can become a reality if you put hard work into it. I am just being a realist in the chances of things you love online being something you love in the real world.

It just does not seem likely.

That all aside, we cannot deny how spectacular it is that we can make connections like these. Sure, I still wish snail mail was a thing and the art of letter writing would make a comeback- but the internet is abundant. While it is amazing for connecting the world together and finding people you relate to everywhere and creating this alter-reality, it seems to make it more difficult to find a connection simply with someone nearby

When is the last time you got a number some place other than the internet? Besides old friends, I honestly could not tell you that last time I did. The alter-reality of the internet is crashing into real life making real dating a thing of the past.

 

Love at first sight has turned into love at first swipe, friend request, tweet, poke, or match. 

The fairytale romances are far and few because we have let our lives run on technology. We strive to find the love of our lives, while hiding behind our internet alter ego. We can fall in love conveniently while we brush our teeth, binge watch television, or while we are out with friends. The internet has found a way to make "falling in love" or "hooking up" like a fast food drive thru. Here is a fine new specimen- new to the market. Order up before they are all gone. Presenting perfection in a profile. No one is perfect, but on the internet we try to present ourselves as a perfection to someone who we think should be our soulmate. We pick the best pictures, omitting the ones where you look your actual size or do not have perfect makeup or hair. We leave out the quirks that make us our reality. The truth is as much as we hope to have that true, love at first sight moment, we will settle for the swipes and friend requests because we just want to be loved.

& I think it is time we stopped that.

Why should we settle to fall in love with someone who swiped us because they found us attractive? Why should we think that just because they accepted a friend request that we are meant to be?

In my opinion, that is a sick reality. I do not mean to sound like a hypocrite. I am just stating something that has been bothering me for awhile.I have had a Tinder. And while it was an interesting few months, it did not bring me any satisfaction. All it brought me is new people, to another platform, that has yet to really go anywhere.

The fact of the matter is we bring a relationship from one platform to another, but to get it to launch to real life is still the trick. Because all these platforms interweave a common concept that  a majority are simply just there to "hook-up". These platforms are making being a lady or gentlemen a thing of the past. It seems both types are far and few and in-between that you give up before you find the person you were aiming to meet. And if you give someone a chance, and give them your number, you risk knowing where this next platform is going to take you. Are you going to be a booty call? Are you ever going to meet in reality? Are you going to text endlessly, then just disappear? Is anything even going to come out of this?

And from my experience and many friends experiences, nothing ever will. 

If you want to break the barrier of a textual relationship, you have to keep in mind that most people will have no memory of what has been said. Words exchanged frequently in small doses do not typically register with people. That is one of the biggest flaws of these relationships. Really, how well do you know that person if you do not even know their middle or even last name?  Falling in love should not include all the drama that technology brings. We should not have to question ones affection by the amount of time they take to respond or if they opened your snap and did not reply. It is absolutely ridiculous. 

While I secretly hope that maybe one day my internet celebrity love or texting encounters turn into more, I am level headed enough to know that more than likely they will not. And so that is why I am single. I am waiting for the day I meet someone who I can simply go on a date with and get to know. And hopefully, eventually I will find a guy genuinely wants to get to know me, my past, present, flaws, and quirks. All of it. Because that is where relationships form. They form in between the getting to know one another and the realizing that who they are intertwines perfectly with who you are. There should never be any pretending, acting, or changing. If you present yourself for what you truly are, you will find the person meant for you.

At least that is what I would like to think.

I know I write a lot on the topic of being single and alone in this generation. It is because it is my reality and it seems to be something burdening so many people around me. I have guys flock to me because they think I am sad to be alone. Sure, being single can be lonely- but that is what friends, family, books, and movies are for. Surrounding myself with things I love is making me a better person. For a long time, I became this superficial person- I hate to admit it, but I was not a good person. I judged people solely on their appearance or the appearance of their social media. I wanted people to love me. The problem with that is I obviously did not love myself. Loving yourself should come first. I choose to be single because [one] relationships are really hard and take a lot of work, [two]  I am pretty weird and have not found somebody who embraces that, [three] I am working on living a healthier life and I fear throwing somebody else into the fix might ruin my progress, [four] too many people run away the second they hear "gluten-free" (you think I am joking, but sadly, this point is incredibly true, and [five] not a lot of people have tried to get to know who I am. They try to force themselves into my life, make fun of my interests, or solely comment on my looks. None of those things are impressive to me. 

I'm Simply Unimpressed Shelby Sue

P.s. I felt the need to clarify that because it seems to be confusing a lot of people lately and I really hate confusion.