Recently
I encountered a situation and it has spurred a mix of emotions,
thoughts, and rants within me.
&
so, being as I am trying to actually be a writer and write things
because that's what writers do- I figured I might as well share this
most recent revelation. I also figured to best explain my thoughts, I thought I might use the assistance of the Kardashian clan to help me out in gif form.
Topic: Social Media
Subject: Information Sharing
I am
not really sure where to begin. I apologize now if this post seems
discombobulated because it more than likely will be. I keep
witnessing the same scenario over and over again and I am just so sick
of it.
I call it the "Look at Me" syndrome.
You
know them. The people who are constantly posting on social media to
essentially get people to "Look at them." "look at me,
I am being social." "Look at me, I am cool and drinking a
fancy drink." "Look at me, I am so in love." "Look
at me, I actually had something cool happen to me."
And
these "look at me" people seem to fall into at least two
categories: the "look at me, I rarely post unless I had
something big happen or somebody else has something big happen and I
want to piggyback their successes" or "look at me, I post
all the time and think that every time I do anything I need to post a
picture."
&
I am not being a hypocrite because I once was the latter. Ever since
my parents bought me my first digital camera for Christmas [and
almost every year since being as I'm a klutz with technology-but as
usual, I digress], I was obsessed with documenting my life, but I mean I have
loved photos from a young age- this is nothing new. I loved
looking at old photos with my mom and learning the stories behind
them. So I decided to document my life and the people who made
it so wonderful. I took pictures of everything. Food I was eating.
What we were doing in class. What we did in cheerleading. Every
little thing I could...and I did it for years. In fact, I think I
did it from about 6th or 7th grade until my present day and age. I
love photographs. They can bring so much emotion and tell so many
stories.
There is nothing wrong with any of that.
My
problem came when I discovered Facebook. The bottomless pit entered
my life as I entered the 9th grade. I thought all my photos
needed to be shared. At the time, Facebook's privacy was awesome and
it really was just for friends. No hidden agendas- just simply
uploading photos to upload photos. Then Facebook introduced the
options to like or share and then now all your friends friends can
see their activity, even if they have no idea who you are.
That's
really not okay.
The
only reason I have kept Facebook is for my family and close friends.
It is
not for anyone else and that is why I have been slowly
"de-friending" people. If I wouldn't say hi to you at the
store, why would I want you knowing my day to day happenings?
& That's where the competition and hidden agendas come into play.
Facebook has become a world of "look at me" people because
people crave the likes, the shares, the attention.
I
hate attention.
I
remember when I started blogging, a few unhappy people would say "you
know she's just doing that for attention." Nope. That is not it.
I blog because I am a writer. I blog because I need to get these
crazy thoughts out of my head. I blog because while it somewhat stirs
my sanity, it also tames it.
I
do not want all eyes on me. I just want to share my information with
people I care about with out people reading all into it.
But
that is what we do. People. We read into everything.
&
for good reason.
When
I first entered the smart-phone world, I craved the attention. I will
admit it. I wanted people to know I was now "so, hip, so
cool". And now I could give a rat's ass [pardon my unladylike
wording, but it fit so well here]. & I cannot clean up what I have
done. Years and years and years of over-sharing is impossible to
erase- not to mention what people must think. I know I should not care about what others think, but I am only human and do. I certainly do not want
people to think I upload things to be "loved and adored". I
upload pictures as a form of expression or simply to share them with
my family. That is really it.
These
people suck. I used to be one of them, so I am allowed to say it.
These
people have no boundaries and have really lost emotion for people
themselves. They do not even think about what they are posting and
how it might affect those who love and care about them. Even if you
do not want to be, most kids are friends with their parents on
Facebook. Do you think your mom likes looking at you drinking every
night? What about pictures of you half clothed? Do you think your mom
would be proud of those accomplishments?
I
think your mom would rather you post intellectual articles or
thoughts on life. Not thoughts on what drink you are going to order
tonight.
The thing of it is that most people don't think you are cool for what you
are doing. You are simply hurting those around you or developing a
not so keen reputation. Because even if you are not meaning to come
off this way, you do.
&
then, these people tend to want to share everything. Especially news
that will get all eyes on them. If a situation is getting someone a
lot of attention and they can somehow weasel their way into it, they
will. They will steal your pictures and post them as their own before
you can. Have you ever known someone who has done that? I have. And
it sickens me. What gives people the right to think they can announce
someone's big news before they can? Let alone, upload someones photos
as their own.
This
situation makes me want to scream because although you are getting
all this gratitude, you just really hurt someone to get those 5
minutes of fame. Those comments are not for you; those comments are
for them. Funny that they cannot see them though because it is not
their post. Posting a picture of an event you were not even at? Ha,
you are a jack-off. Posting someones personal pictures without their
permission? Are you even a human being? & I do not mean
catfishing. I mean people who do it because they think it is cute and
they want people to "look at them".
What
you just did seems miniscule. It is just Facebook right? No. Not
right. In this day in age nothing is just "Facebook".
Facebook sadly means a great deal and you ruined that great deal for
somebody. Hope your five minutes of fame were worth it because those
people cannot undo what you just did.
Think
about it. If you are thinking, "oh, have I done that?", you
probably have. You probably should apologize. & you probably
should go delete that post- even if it was months or years ago.
As far as sharing on social media goes, be careful with it. I know
I am guilty of tweeting something when I am upset and then regretting
it. Sure, I go back and delete it, but that tweet still had its time
on the internet. It still was out there. It still meant something and
it should not have ever been out.
If
you go out every night, more power to you. But do you need to have a photo-shoot every time? How many crop tops, mixed drinks, and drunk
faces do you really have?
If
you love your baby or dog, post all you want. Sure, while not
everybody likes it, you are just proud of some living thing. Ain't
nothing wrong with that.
If
you are attending a concert, attend a concert. Take a few shots, then
put down the phone [cue Watsky's "Tiny Glowing Screens"]
[but don not cue it if you don't like the occasional curse word. rap
music has that]. Enjoy the moment.
If
you want to act like somebody's accomplishments are your own, get a
life.
My
main point is to go out with your friends and do not worry about
taking a picture to document it. Enjoy that 5th amaretto sour, but
do not tell the world. Ever since I stopped trying to make every night
a "photo shoot", my life got so much better. Sure, I will Snapchat- that is what Snapchat is for. I just do not worry about if
"we didn't take pictures last night and we looked so good."
Yeah, we did look good and we will remember that night because we
were not worried about making everybody else notice it. We actually
enjoyed it.
I
owe one of my best friends for this. Before her, I was super
obnoxious- and I mean like super photo obnoxious. I know it. My friends know it.
People who barely know me know it. My best friend does not really like having her
picture taken though, which made that part of our relationship
difficult. But from that, I stopped worrying about taking pictures
because I knew she did not want to. And from there, I have become the
person I am today. A person who can go out and enjoy a night at the
bar. A person who can do something crazy and not have to tell the
whole world. A person who can live in the moment and not worry about
how social media would play in. A person who is actually tolerable to
be around.
So
as I continue this "look at me" detox, I encourage you all
to as well. While I might become less photogenic, I think the rewards
outweigh the few losses. Put down the phone, put away "the Facebook" and let's have coffee without the pressure of making
it worthy to share. & in your spare time, I recommend looking
into making your information more private because believe me the
internet is kind of like the box of notes you kept from middle
school; it is never ending and full of a past-you that is not someone
you want to be known as.
I
would apologize if this offended anybody, but it really should not
offend anybody. While I did have some people in mind in particular,
the list is way too long to single out a few. And it is nothing that you should take personal offense to. It is
not about you. It is about what you are doing and how it is affecting
those around you and how you are making them look at you.
But
hey, look at me, <------ see what I did there?
I'm Simply Shelby Sue
P.s.
I cannot reiterate enough. Do not post somebody's big news before they
do. You are an awful human being.