Spare-ity

As quarters jingle in my pocket, a little tune from memory lane comes in my head. Written from one of my closet high school friends while standing on the sidelines in our cheer uniforms at a Junior Varsity football game [JP you are a genius].

"I've got quarters in my pocket. Wanna see them in my hand? Tiny quarters in my pocket going jingle-ling-a ling. Lots of quarters on my floor. Watch me throw them at the door. Just to hear the sound they make. Going clink-clink-clink-click- klank."

This simple little jingle got me thinking about all things spare.

Spare Change

Wasting space away in my pocket, a little bit of my spare change could in fact, change quite a bit.

It Could....

• Buy my chocolate craving tummy a candy bar.
• Buy the kid, who sits next to me in that one class ( you know that one), some mints.
• Buy myself another bottle of Sunny D since I seem to have drank an entire bottle in the last 30 minutes.
• Buy my niece a silly, little toy out of one of those ridiculous vending machine (you know the ones that come in that stupid plastic container with the stupid plastic lids that never seem to want to come unattached. yeah those).
• Again, buy me a candy bar. It's time to prep for finals weeks and all college students should be living on a diet of caffeinated drinks and candy bars.

Spare Tire

This is just kind of necessary and that is all there is to it.

Spare Room

 Most homes have them and they have lots of various jobs.

Very useful for:

• Housing young wizards (only if they are located under the stairs).
• A play room with lots of toys and stuff. Kids love that kind of thing.
• An old bed that is extremely uncomfortable for your guests to sleep on.
• All the stuff you have no other place in your house for.
• A room for your beloved pets. 
•  Most importantly they are where you keep the wardrobe that allows one to venture into Narnia.

But we are forgetting the most important spare thing of all:

Spare Time

I love spare time. It is time to be filled with nonsense and as many creative wonders as possible. Lately, I have been spending my spare time strictly with pop culture. From award shows to popular crime scene television shows, my life is obsessed with knowing who won that award and if that killer is hiding in the shower. But I seem to find myself distracted with the various movie channels on Direct TV. From Sundance to Fx Movie channel, I have a really bad addiction. But it's not to normal movies- it's to very weird movies. One flip of the remote and I'm glued to the television like the quarter my sisters super glued to the sidewalk one time when I was little. I don't know why, but I find them fascinating, with all their weirdness.

So for your blogging pleasure, here is a list of random movies I have watched lately and my thoughts (because I know you love my thoughts):

• Vampire (docudrama): One late night I stumbled across this little joy. It might be one of the strangest, most enjoyable movies I have seen to date that played on television after midnight. It's a fake documentary following around the life of vampires- yes vampires. I honestly "loled" in the first 10 seconds because the first camera crew doesn't even make into the vampires home without being eaten. Eventually, they find a vampire family that withholds the urges of eating the film makers. I will not go on to spoil the fun, but if you ever are in the mood for a weird movie- this one was surprisingly enjoyable. 

• Farewell my Concubine: I did not even know if I could find words to explain this film. It's a classic- but it's weird as hell. Plus it is all in a foreign language so it's all subtitles. It's basically about these kids training to be actors, but the instructor people are really mean. This movie is full of brutality and weird noises. It's just odd. Very, very. Very odd. But I could not stop watching it. I have seen bits and pieces of it like 10 times, including in a theater class. I have only seen it complete once. I think it will take a few more times to full understand every inch and turn it has within it.

• Spork: I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH. It debuted at one of the Gay Pride festivels. It's about a young girl, who is named Spork because she is hermaphrodite. I hope I did not lose you. Her best friends name is Tootsie Roll and she lives in the trailer next door. Tootsie roll injures herself and Spork has to take her place in the school Talent Show. I am not going to spoil anymore because this literally is a fantastic movie. It is filled with a lot of foul language, but it is followed with an excellent soundtrack. You definitely will not be disappointed. My friends might beg to differ because the first time we watched it, we were all sleep deprived; I might have been laughing so hard I was bawling- it's fine. It's whatever. Also, watch till the very end. The last like 10 seconds are wonderful- I am not sure how many times I have rewound the last part. [i have issues].

• Teeth:  DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. I repeat do not watch this movie. It is supposed to be a horror movie. It's poorly made. Plus, the whole plot line is ridiculous. It's about a girl who has an issue down there; meaning down there has teeth. That is all I am saying. If you are curious, research at your risk...The only reason I watched this is because I came to it halfway through at like 2 in the morning. & at the 2 in the morning, your options of things to watch on television is pick and choose. Plus I was way too lazy to get up and put a movie in. DON'T BE LAZY. Skip this movie and enjoy some other, strange movie instead.

• Troll 2: This movie takes multiple times to appreciate it's wonderful-ness, though two of my friends agreed that first time that it was fantastic. It is a cult classic, like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, that some people just do not get and enjoy. I LOVE IT THOUGH. It starts off telling a wise tale about trolls that inhabit a small town and force people to eat their food, which turns to green mess and ultimately turns them into something- I am not revealing that something because it could ruin the movie. The acting is awful which is the best part. I did not fully appreciate the acting until watching "The Best Worse Movie". It is a documentary about the film. The actors themselves were so embarrassed and surprised when this became a cult classic. Throughout the film you will feel many different emotions, mainly weird; you will see popcorn being popped in an unconventional way and how a bologna sandwich can sometimes save the day. Best line of the movie..."You can't piss on hospitality!" 

 Well, I feel like there will be a second installment on strange movies because I had a terribly hard time narrowing down my list. I LOVE WEIRD AND POORLY MADE MOVIES SO SO MUCH. They really deserve their own genre because they are fantastic. I should probablyyy stop rambling, but I just have so mannnny emotionsss. That's why I'm.....

Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. Feel free to comment with what type of  blogs you would like to see in the future. I'd love to please my readers!!!

My blog is turning into a sassy review blog. Sorry bout that. Blame College.

So I saw a post today & it made me giggle extremely too much. Plus it's relevant to this blog post. It was simply a cartoon image of two women discussing dieting. One woman's speech bubble says: "You are what you eat." The second woman (me in this case)'s speech bubble said the following: "Then I need to eat a skinny person." If only it were that easy....

College students are eating our feelings from the stress of finishing the semester with our GPA still somewhat in tact. Christmas time is in full swing and sugar coated treats are in abundance. & Victoria's Secret has officially created a million New Year's Resolutions with their annual Victoria Secret Fashion Show.

From spray-tanned perfection to perfectly flowing hair, the models were once again flawless. I do not know about you all, but I suddenly feel like I should not have eaten those 5 chocolate star candies. I also have a strange feeling that my Pinterest will soon have an overwhelming amount of pins dealing with these fierce feathered ladies. Nonetheless, I am very much angry at my family genetics and my fat, sausage-casing like thighs. Also, I have a strange jealousy of the models that got to wear the Pom-Pom and Pinwheel wings. Thumbs up to the creative mind behind those. They were fantastic.  But maybe one day I could achieve the wind blown, hair perfection. Only Maybe though. With all things set aside, I feel like even the normal-Midwest girl like myself could possibly achieve feeling worthy while wearing her Victoria Secrets.

These are necessities that I have learned I need in order to look 1/10th as pretty as a Victoria's Secret Model:

•  A stockpile of Fake Eye-lashes:Your eyes just look better with them. Plus they are extremely flirty and girly and to feel like a VS Model, you must be flirty and girly. & if you can achieve it, upgrade that girly to womanly. Actually scratch everything I have said. Aim for womanly sex appeal and do this by never leaving the house without your fake-eye lashes applied properly.

• Music must be  playing when I walk Anywhere: This Fashion show has just solidified the fact that we all deserve a movie like montage moment. When you walk with sass, sure it's a sassy walk. But when you walk with sass and a beautiful man like Bruno Mars serenading in the background, you walk like one bad-ass lady. Since most of us are incapable of having Bruno Mars serenade us, I vote we re-invest in boom boxes. We can bring back the 80's and 90's fad. It could be cool, right? ...Yeah, probably not. 

• You can never have too much Glitter: This fact was just proven by this fashion show. If the VS models approve of glitter-izing everything, then of course so should we! New life motto: Everything is better with glitter! 

 

• Sun-Kissed Skin: Unless you are pretty and pasty, you best be prepared to sun-kiss your skin- but be careful. If you turn your skin Snooki-Orange, you are failing in this lesson of being a Victoria Secret model. The goal is to have healthy, shimmering skin- not imitate a citrus fruit.

• Matching-Underwear: Normal woman do not typically own matching underwear and bras. & if they do, they typically do not strive to match their undergarments everyday. This must change in order to channel your inner VS Model self. To feel womanly, match those bras and panties. Matching is classy.

• A Pair of Wings: To be the best inner angel we can be, of course we need wings. & no, your fairy wings from your last years Halloween costume will not do. That would disappoint Tyra and we would not want to cause a Tyra melt-down. As I said earlier, I really want a pair of Pom-Pom or Pinwheel wings. Though all the wings in the "Angels in Bloom" portion of the show were fantastic- especially the lilac ones. I feel like picking a pair of VS like wings would be like picking a wand at Ollivander's- they just kind of choose you.
  

& that's my weekly dose of random opinions.

Apologies for all my thoughts on pop-culture lately. I just really like pop-culture. That's what makes me....

Simply Shelby Sue

P.s. After watching this VS Fashion show, I have one main thought. "Life: I'm doing it wrong."